Broken Mind {Villain Deku} Tododeku

In a Daze

This chapter also has some touchy stuff at the beginning that I used to actually think about so I'm writing out of personal experience. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I actually still kinda think this way.

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Midoriya sat next to his classmate with a blank face. He was in a whole other world as Todoroki and the policeman in front of the two talked. He didn't care for what they were talking about in particular just... nothing.

Why was he here again? He had to do something. But what? He felt no motivation to even breathe and he would stop if it wasn't an instinct. Sometimes he would hold his breath to see what it felt like but then he'd stop paying attention and start breathing. Was his mother really dead? He had seen her... and felt her cold skin. 

He looked down at his palms. But it could have been an illusion. A trick of the mind, maybe the weather was getting to him. Maybe it was some kind of sick joke. If someone had told him ahead of time that his mother was gonna die, of course, he wouldn't believe it. But at least then he would have secretly prepared himself for the worst even though it would stress him. It's just what humans do, some more than others.

It's as simple as craving food when hungry and shivering when cold. Mentally preparing for someone else's death, heck even your own, is something we are subjected to. Wouldn't everyone prepare themselves for death if they heard that an asteroid would strike Earth within the next day? Actually, what is death? What's life? Aren't they the same thing? Isn't living slowly dying?

What's the point of doing anything in life if there's nothing in store for us except death? If one day, all the people you hold dear will vanish from your life, leaving only materialistic things? What's the point in trying when one day, everything you spent your entire life trying to accomplish disappears from the face of the earth, not even leaving a memory behind?

Midoriya was awoken from his musings with a shake of his shoulder, making him look up at the source of the force. Todoroki looked at him, slightly worried and repeated his question, "What happened after I left?" Midoriya's stare went kind of dark and he looked away into a dark corner of the room, sifting through his memories.

"I-I'm not sure." He wanted to say something else, something useful, but saying it meant it was real and he didn't want to confirm the unknown. She wasn't dead, he wanted to say, but there were no grounds of evidence to make that thought a fact. He really had no way to say that without sounding pathetic.

Screw it, he already sounded, looked, and was pathetic. His voice shook with every word and he couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was missing something. Why was he here again? He furrowed his eyebrows tightly like that would squeeze out something from his head and that would allow him to understand.

Todoroki squeezed the hand on his shoulder, making him look at it in distaste. "Well, can you tell us, even if you're unsure? Any information, even if it's wrong, would help." That was obviously a lie and Midoriya knew it. Midoriya was on thin ice and Todoroki new it. Good, Midoriya thought crossly, I'm glad we're on some kind of level ground here. 

Midoriya thought about the lie that Todoroki just spat out like it was sour. It was easily a lie. Of course, false information is nothing but a nuisance. Todoroki didn't seem to understand his thoughts, which was understandable. He didn't want to speak what was undoubtedly the hard truth. 

His mother was dead. 

Shot in the head. 

They said it was suicide. 

But it wasn't.

"I walked into the house," Midoriya spoke abruptly, but coldly. He sounds the surest he has in his entire life. He had to face it, she was dead. Just because he didn't want to believe it doesn't make it any less true. The universe didn't care if his feelings were hurt, so why should he care if he hurt its feelings? Fight fire with bigger fire and the original fire will be lost.