Losing Myself

Chapter 2 - Ashville

7 Months Later...

Tomorrow is the first day of my Senior year.

At a new school in Ashville, Oklahoma. I moved in with my aunt after I came back from the Olympics. I just knew I had to escape it all, my coach, the cameras, the interviews, it was all just to much.

So here I am in the small town of Ashville, where the weather is hot and the water and air conditioning is your only true friend.

I have gotten multiple emails and messages from my "friends" and other coaches and just random people asking if I am going to start training again.

Who knows? I loved iceskating it was my life, but even after my parents death its like I started to lose the spark the everyone used to compliment me on.

It was like my bubbly happy personality is what made people so fond of me. That spark dissipated when my parents died 10 months ago. But when I was on the ice, I had that spark again.

After being taken advantage of by my coach, the only person in my life that I turned to at the time when I needed comfort the most, took my spark away.

And I don't think that spark will ever return.

I park my Wrangler, her name is Kesha. Ever since I was a kid I wanted a Jeep Wrangler, so on my 16th birthday my parents surprised me with Kesha.

I know Kesha isn't the best name but when I was in 2nd grade I chose that name for her, it was at that time I fell in love with Kesha and her music.

I enter the apartment complex and head to the elevator, I push the button for the 3rd floor. I just applied for a job at the small bakery across the street.

I hope they didn't get a goth vibe considering my dyed black hair, my black t-shirt, black ripped jeans, and black high-tops, I also put on black eyeliner.

I originally had light blonde hair, which is a blessing because its so rare to have really light blonde hair like me and my mother had but it was just a reminder of my old life.

I wear black a lot know because it displays how I feel in a way, its just bland and simple. I don't really care about what people think anymore though, that was my old life when I lived in a wealthy home surrounded by wealthy people.

The money was never a big deal to me, all I cared about was being happy and those I loved being happy. But thats all gone now.

I arrived at the third floor and started to head our apartment, but as I was walking I noticed a guy with the hood of his sweatshirt covering his face.

As I walked past him I tripped on one of my shoe laces and started to fall onto him. He grabbed me by the shoulders and in the process I saw the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

He had crystal blue eyes that had a dark blue ring around the light blue of his eyes. I just starred into his eyes with awe. But when he shoved me away and pulled his hood down covering his face as he walked away I realized that I might have made a mistake.

Because as he was pushing me away I saw something shift in his eyes, something dark and his eyes turned icy. My face and neck began to flush bright red as I recognized the emotion in his eyes was disgust.

He walked to the elevator and didn't look back or spare me a glance as he got onto the elevator and left.

I pushed my thoughts aside and tried to get rid the embarrassment displayed on my cheeks.

I walked to my aunts apartment, which I guess in a way is my apartment now. I knocked on the door waiting for my aunt to look through the peep hole and open the door.

A couple months ago, some men from a gang came and forced their way into her apartment and were questioning her about my mother and giving her threats.

She said that if her neighbor wouldn't have come to her apartment when he did with his gun she could've been raped or worse.

She doesn't know I was raped, but I guess she was one of the lucky ones who get saved before anything could've happened.

She said she never received any messages or break ins again but ever since she has gotten 2 extra locks and looks through her peep hole every time someone knocks on the door.

My aunt Jessie opens the door and envelopes me in a big hug. She reminds me of my mom in a lot of ways, not only because they are sisters but because she has such a kind soul like my mother.

They both always loved giving hugs and cuddling, I miss my mom's warm hugs.

"Hey Katie! How did the job interview go?!" I don't understand how my aunt Jessie is always so happy now after her sister died, but I think she accepted it while I never addressed my parents deaths.

"It was okay, I think they thought I was goth or something." She gave me a sad smile and waved her hand gesturing for me to come inside.

She then managed to lock all three bolts and then she moved into the kitchen. She gave me a hot bowl of spaghetti and then we sat down and chatted about life before the "Incident" aka my parents death.

I know she was trying to lift my spirits and all her intentions were good but its still hard especially when all the topics were about ice skating which made me think about that night...

But all of that is over now, its in the past, my soul had gone with it. I'm not one who even considers suicide but understand now why people do it.

Some people just don't have an escape route like I did, and in a way I guess I'm lucky.

But this life I'm living, it's not Lovely.

+++

Hey people,

This chapter started to introduce some interesting characters.

In my books there are clues that add up to the climax so PAY ATTENTION!

I'm going to be scouting for comments and replying so if you have questions or feedback COMMENT!

ALSO should I post a vid and pic to go with each chapter?

The song featured in this chapter is lovely. By Billie Eilish (with Khalid),

Much love,

Star