Ready to Suffer, Ready to Hope *Matt Murdock* (book three of Damned-3b) x Arrow

Bonus: A way to break through

Matt and Foggy go to Nelsons alone this year, Matt can't lie for shit and is unable to hide his pining. Enter Candace. 'Friends' references ensue.

Matt takes Candace's words to heart, rushing home, hoping there is still a home to find. And oh, there is.

Angst, fluff and maybe...

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I'm too lazy to change the rating. Plus, this chapter is the only one that should be rated Mature/Explicit. Oops, spoiler alert. Just skip that part if you find it offensive. I'm sure you'll recognize when it's coming/ending.

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Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through hell with you
Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you

(Rachel Platten - Stand By You)

Hey. Just came back from work, probably gonna attack what's left of the candy. Say hello to the Nelson clan from me.

Matt sighed, running his hand through his hair. That was good, right? That didn't sound like she was about to flee, not even now when she had a perfect opportunity.

It had been a quick decision of hers and Matt couldn't really afford to protest. They had returned from Starling on 20th evening and the very same evening Vera had called her manager to announce she had been ready to go back to work after the whole protective custody or whatever thing. She took the morning shift the next day instead of Terri. And she had taken an afternoon shift on 24th as well - quitting earlier than normally, but still at seven p.m. - supposedly making up for her absence. Matt had known it was bullshit right away; she hadn't even tried to hide it.

'Matt, we're working through it and I think we're on a good way,' she had said later, gently taking his hand in hers, lowering her head to look at the place of their contact. "But I don't think we're quite ready to pretend- I'm not ready to pretend everything is perfect. I brought drama last year. I think you should go without me."

Matt had heard no hint of a lie back then, so he had bit his tongue, hesitantly had hid her in his arms and had buried his unhappy grimace in her hair. He hadn't wanted to go. Not alone. And he had been terrified of leaving her. They might have been on their best way, yeah, but...

He banged the back his head against the wall of the bathroom, replaying her message. Texting was tricky. Matt always preferred calling; he might not be able to read body language or hear heartbeats over the phone, but there was still a lot he could figure out from people's voices. The text was only read out loud by a mechanical voice, emotionless, flat.

He took a deep breath, listening to the text once more.

The words were casual. However, they were desperately little to go on. She had said they would see each other on 26th. She had promised. And she texted him. It still didn't ease the painful knot in his stomach.

"Matt, you okay in here?" Candace's voice startled him from behind the door, making him jump out of his skin.

Jesus, he couldn't hear her approaching. He cleared his throat.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay. I'll be right back with you guys," he reassured her, hoping his voice sounded less raspy to her than to himself.

He and Foggy had easily explained Vera's absence - she had to work. It wasn't exactly a lie and if Matt was a little sad about it or jumpy because of her not being here, that was okay, right? Vera had even sent a box of sweets (Matt absolutely had not stood outside of their apartment with a dopey smile on his face and tears attacking his eyes when he had heard her decorating the candy while humming Christmas songs again and he had not want to kiss her forehead - which he had done later - and her cheeks and her lips and throat and-- which he hadn't). Nothing that would raise suspicion that Vera and Matt weren't a perfectly happy couple, excited to get married.