Loki's Bride

XII

I actually didn't follow Loki. I went off to be alone. Well, I guess now I was always alone, but I didn't want to be around the palace, where everyone was buzzing about my death. I'm not really dead, I'm right here! But they can't see that...

This was also a time to figure out what all I could do, as a spirit.

I walked through my room, past the ever so annoying scene of weeping servants observing my body, and wen to my terrace. I looked out to the city with a sad sigh, hearing one very loud wail behind me. I closed my eyes as I stood up on the stone rails.

If I could run with such lightness and ease, perhaps I could fly too, I thought. I've go nothing to lose if it doesn't work, I'm dead anyway. With my slight hope, I held my breath and stepped off.

Just as I suspected. I was suspended in mid air, as if I hadn't stepped off of the stone at all. I looked down at the courtyard below me, taking a step. I could walk, too. None of this shocked me, it enlightened me. I started walking, then sprinting away from the palace.

I never tired either. But once I got far enough away from the palace, I slowed, looking below me at the quiet city. It was early morning now, and still dark. Not many people were roaming about.

It was nice to have a bit of peace.

I looked down at the baby in my arms, him stirring and yawning. As I wrapped him tighter in the layer of my dress, I looked to the sky, thinking now of all that's happened...

I'm dead. I'm really dead. I'm not even here, I'm a spirit.

I'm not going to grow old with Loki.

He won't ever meet his son.

I'm nothing but a memory to him now. An unpleasant, painful memory.

***

I don't sleep. I found that out easily. I waited out above the city until the light of dawn finally came, then I decided it was time to go face the past again. Slowly, I flew back to Loki's chambers, the baby asleep in my arms. I wondered if he was really asleep, seems how I can't.

I stay suspended in the air as I walk in the room, staying more close to the ceiling than the ground. Loki is actually sitting on the edge of his bed, hunching over his knees. He isn't crying anymore, but he's obviously sad. I stop and watch him, sadness beginning weighing me down now.

I expect him to say something, like, "I know you're there. I can feel you with me." But I know he can't, and I know he won't say anything.

Suddenly the baby starts stirring in my arms, and he starts to cry. Soon it becomes a wail, and Loki jumps up, pacing now. I can't decide weather to pay attention to him or the baby. But when I see where Loki heads, I just start bouncing the baby lightly, hoping he'll quiet down, and I give my full attention to Loki.

He's going toward where he keeps his weapons, a small armoire in the corner of the room. He stands in front of it and takes a deep breath as he tears the doors open. I float down to his level and watch his face as he rummages through the contents of the armoire.

He's serious, his lips pursed. His face is drained of all color except for under his eyes. There are bags, puffy and dark. He didn't sleep either. He's stressed. I can't help but look at him with pity.

But I don't realize what he's doing. Suddenly he pulls a gun out, admiring it for a moment. I gasp, and he turns away from me, checking to make sure it's loaded. I fly in front of him, already screaming my commands to stop whatever it is he's thinking of trying.

His eyes are fixed on the barrel for a moment, then they close and he holds the gun to the side of his head. "No!!!!" I scream. This makes the baby holler louder. I see Loki's finger move to the trigger. "I'll be with you soon, Serena." He murmurs.