A Girl Like Her

Chapter 5:

However, Mel clearly was. Her eyes screamed hunger as she raked her eyes over each of them individually. She latched onto my arm. "Come on, Lay. I think I need another drink." With a sly grin, Mel pulled me over to the group of boys. Her eyes zeroed in on the guy in the middle with the cold eyes that had shivers running down my spine. And not the good kind.

"Well, hello ladies. Come for a refill?" I did not like his voice. His voice was just as cold as his eyes.

"Why, yes. Yes, we do," Melanie purred, handing out her empty cup to him.

The guy only seemed to grin wider, and I mentally cringed at his yellow stained teeth. Does this guy even know what a toothbrush is?

The guy took her cup and filled it up with something, before glancing at me. If anything, it seemed like his eyes darkened all the more. "And you, too, beautiful?" He asked, openly staring at my chest.

Truthfully, I guess I couldn't blame him. The dress I was wearing had a very deep v-neck that left very little to the imagination. The skin tight black dress I was wearing covered next to nothing. It was solid black and simple- but sexy. Just how I liked it.

"No thanks," I answered, making his eyes steer away from my breasts for a moment. He looked at me, arching his brow. "I still haven't finished my own drink." I shrugged, swishing the contents in my cup around for further emphasis.

The guy didn't look convinced. In fact, he reached out and snatched the cup from my hand. Appalled at his actions, my lips parted as anger soared through my veins at the audacity of this man.

"Excuse you-" I started, but he cut me off with a sly smirk.

"Relax, princess. Obviously, you didn't like what was in that cup. So I'm gonna make a special drink just for you."

I didn't like the way his eyes darkened. Or the way his lips curled back slightly. Or the way his arms moved underneath the table in front of him as he made a concoction for me to drink. And I certainly didn't like the little pet name he had for me: princess. I was anything but.

"Here you go, princess. Drink up." He handed me back my cup and I looked inside it suspiciously. "Well," he smirked. "Drink up, little lady. I promise it's better than the shit you were probably drinking."

I looked at the liquid in the cup, unsure. It looked normal. The liquid was brownish- most likely some type of whiskey. I brought it to my lips, sniffing discreetly. It didn't smell out of the ordinary. Glancing to the side, I noticed all three boys- and Mel- staring at me. Waiting patiently. Mel already downed her drink and seemed fine. So maybe I was simply reading too much into things.

Finally, with a deep sigh, I tipped the cup and drank. I drank it all as the liquid burned going down. But I didn't stop until every last drop was in my system. When the contents in the cup were finished, I slammed it on the table, coughing slightly as my the burning in my throat began to subside.

Definitely Jack Daniels.

Breathing heavily, I threw my cup away, glaring daggers at the boys in front of me. If anything, the weird smiles they had seemed to widen.

"See? Much better, right?" He cocked his head to the side, almost arrogantly.

I rolled my eyes, grabbing Mel's arm and marching off. But not before I heard his reply- even over the pounding music that vibrated through the thin walls of whoever's house this was.

"See you soon, princess."

No, he would definitely not be seeing me ever again.

Cocky little pricks.

I jolted awake with a small gasp. My heart was racing fiercely in my chest. A tidal wave of emotions swarming through my body at once. I quickly spin my head to look at the time.

It's close to four in the morning. Breathing out heavily through my mouth, I slouched back in my bed. Just now noticing the cold sweat that I was in. Cool drops of perspiration marked my body. Suddenly, I felt dirty. Gross. Repulsed. I felt ashamed all over again.

I could feel it. The oncoming attack of tears threatening to spill. But no. No, I couldn't. I promised myself, didn't I? I promised not to cry again. I promised not to cry because that would be dwelling on what happened to me. I would need a reason to cry and that reason would be because of what happened to me.

But did I really deserve to be crying? Did I really deserve to behave this way?

The signs were there. My gut was telling- screaming- at me that something was wrong. I was suspicious and yet, I ignored all the signs. Just to a prove a stupid point. I ignored all the red flags and downed every last drop of whatever it was he put in that godforsaken cup.

So anything and everything that happened after that... was purely my fault.

It was my fault because I put myself in that situation. It was my fault because I ignored my gut and fell right into their little trap. It was my fault because there were so many ways I could've prevented it. I could've prevented it from happening by just not going to that damned altogether.

But even if I didn't go that night- surely they would've done it to another girl.

At that thought, my gut clenched and guilt crept upon my very soul.

What if they were still doing it?

And I hadn't reported it.

Granted, I couldn't remember anything that happened when I woke up. I knew the gist of what happened to me. Bur the details were lost to me. The memories were hazy and blurry. My head throbbed with shooting pain and each time I tried to will myself to remember, the pain would get worse. Until I felt numb. Until I was a shell of the girl I used to be.

The thoughts consumed me whole and I tucked my legs under my chin, clenching my fists so tightly my nails pinched into my palms at the traitorous tears that left and slid down my cheeks.

Maybe crying was okay.

Maybe, just this once, I could cry.

After all, it was just me. Alone in my room with nothing but nightmares to plague my mind.

Just this one more time, I could let myself cry. I can let myself grieve once more for the girl that died. I could mourn once more for the death of a girl who I left back in that alley. I could allow myself to cry until there were no tears left and my body was buzzing with a kind of numbness I was all too familiar with.

Just this once, Layla.

Just this one more time, you can cry, Layla. It's okay to cry. No one will know but you.

That's right. No one knows what happened. I'm not breaking a promise with anybody but myself.

And so, for just this one night, I allowed myself to fall into a pit of sadness even I couldn't escape from.

Just this night, I allowed myself to break my own promise.

Just this once.