"If you were planning on aborting OUR baby then why even tell me about the pregnancy" he hisses and hurls the ultrasound pictures at me. "Emily, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life building a life with you and that includes having a fami...
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I wasn't prepared for the OBGYN to confirm the three over the counter pregnancy tests I took. The doctor provided me with ultrasound pictures and schooled me on the do's and do not's but everything after the "You are indeed pregnant" is a blur. I had no idea how I was going to tell David but I knew I didn't want to tell him over facetime. I ended up waiting for him to come into town for the weekend. I remember that moment so vividly.
We met up at the beach that Saturday late afternoon. I had the ultrasound pictures with me but tucked away in my back pocket so he wouldn't see them before I had the chance to tell him.
I recall him standing in front of me eagerly waiting for me to tell him what exactly had been distracting me during the week because I had grown distant from him.
"Emily, are you okay? Is it school? You've seemed distant the last ever so many days."
"David"
"Are you having regrets because I don't have any" holding my face in his hands. "I love you Emily, with every ounce of my being." The waves drowning all the screaming going on in my head "Emily, you can..."
"I'm pregnant" I blurt out to put him and me both out of our misery. Fear etches across my face as I anticipate his response. His eyes dance across my face but he remains quiet. "Say something" I plead.
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"Are you sure?" he asks while taking a step back as if to be inspecting my body with his eyes.
"Yes" I nod and pull the ultrasound pictures from my back jeans pocket. I hand him the pictures which he holds in his hand but doesn't take his eyes off of me. "Seven weeks well, eight weeks now. Those are the pictures the doctor gave me." I watch as David is watching me, hanging on to ever single word as if to be lip reading because he can't hear me over the crashing waves around us.
He looks down at the ultrasound pictures then back up at me "do your parents know?"
"No. Nobody knows."
"Not even Autumn?"
"No, not even Autumn"
David looks back down at the pictures and shifts in his stance. I notice his clenched jaw as he contemplates his next words. When he looks back up at me his eyes are glassed over "you haven't said anything to anyone because you don't plan on keeping this baby do you?" I blink rapidly a few times which releases my own tears.
"I'm scared. I'm supposed to start college in the Fall and my parents...my parents are going to flip out if they find out that not only have I been living under their roof and dating you against their wishes, I'm also pregnant with your child." Trying to plead to him my thoughts.
"Emily, do you hear what you are saying?" His body language matching his frustrated tone.
"The first and only time I have sex and I end up knocked up..."
"Are you implying that I got you pregnant on purpose?"
"No, I don't know. I don't know what I am doing, thinking or feeling."
"If you were planning on aborting OUR baby then why even tell me about the pregnancy" he hisses and hurls the ultrasound pictures me. "Emily, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life building a life with you and that includes having a family. I get that this isn't the typical order of how things progress but it doesn't change the fact that I still love you and want those things with you. I know you are scared. Guess what, so am I. I will not pretend to have all of the answers but what I do know is that I will not stick around and give you support while you abort our first child." He says angrily just before turning on his heel to walk away.
"David" I cry out trying to stop him but he either doesn't hear me or he ignores me.
I stood there on the beach for what felt like an eternity waiting for him to come back but he didn't. I went to my Nana's because I didn't know where else to go for advice. I remember the warmth of her smile as she told me "Honey, you can't base your future on your parents. Your momma and daddy have their own lives to live. If you don't want to get rid of your baby, then don't. You are the one who has to live with that decision after your parents have left this world, not them. You do what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do." There was so much conviction in her advice as she patted my shaking hand.
"I love him Nana and he's so angry with me" I blurt out in desperation.
"Him being angry is a good thing dear, it means he cares about you so go to to him. Tell him how you feel."
