Under the Same Moon as Mathias| Original

xix

Chaos.

That's what November has been like for Mathias and I. The only calm thing in the house is Tate. Mathias gave him a suite in the same hall as us. It was nice to have him here, of course a nurse comes every morning and every evening to check him out since it is the first time he's been out since he was hospitalized. Tate is loving it though, even if Mathias and I are busy for most of the day. Mathias is having him fitted for a suit right now and although he thinks I didn't hear; I heard him threaten to gut the tailor in one sweep of his hand if he poked Tate with a pin.

It amazed me how protective Mathias was over Tate. He treats him like a little brother, its cute. I guess it's because Mathias' brothers left to go to boarding school. He misses them a lot, I know he does from the way he talks about them. Occasionally they write or call, but that doesn't stop him from wishing they were here.

What he doesn't know is they're moving back home and going to be here for the thanksgiving banquet.

I was the one who answered the phone when Reed called. We decided to make it a surprise for Mathias. He's been working really hard lately and I think he deserves it. Especially after I told him about Sier. He'd gotten straight to tightening our defense systems and hunting her down, even though I told him not to go through all of it. He insisted that I feel safe.

Today I had to pick table cloths and how I wanted the napkins folded. I had to approve the cooks and their menus. Most of them were local cooks and I actually enjoyed seeing them, since they were the people I grew up around. They told me about my family.

That's when I realized I hadn't seen them in a while. And how much I missed my family.

Mathias told me they'd be at the banquet. But we both know I won't have time to see them. I wonder what they would think about what I am doing. Alex seemed pretty pissed off about me leaving. He probably still is knowing him, he's the type to hold a grudge. If I were there we'd butt heads over little things. My sisters would join in and we'd start a war and be outrageously out numbered because five against three is never good odds.

My mom would shake her head, too past caring to break us up. Eventually Apollo would stop it and we'd go back to being siblings instead of savages. I missed all the fighting and hating each other. I missed the begrudged 'I love you's and my sisters stealing my clothes. I made a firm note to never let them in my closet here, I would never see half of what's in there again.

"What's on your mind, Kitten?" Mathias wrapped his arms around me from behind as I brushed my teeth that night. I felt myself relax under his touch. I smile, spitting out toothpaste.

"Nothing, Mathias..." I told him, turning around to face him.

He frowned down at me, "Don't bullshit me."

He had been calling me on my bullshit lately because he was pretty upset that I didn't tell him about Sier sooner. I think his wolf sniffed it out on Ashia. She is so powerless when he's around.

I rest my forehead against his chest, "I just miss my family."

Mathias sighed, "I know." He strokes my hair. I press my lips into a line, pressing my face into his chest. It takes a moment for me to regain my composure.

"Are you guys ready or are you just going to keep doing lovey-dovey shit?" Tate calls from the room. Mathias jerks away from me. I miss the warmth of his body the second he moves.

He flinches slightly. I almost don't notice. Ashia whimpers and I furrow my brows I'm confusion.

I look at him, ready to ask what's going on, but he avoids my eye. Goldie waddles in, hopping up on my leg wanting to be picked up. He always wants to be held because Mathias spoils him.

This time I actually don't mind holding him. I needed something to keep me grounded before I had a full on meltdown. I was never really good with stress. It was ridiculous how fragile I turned. Goldie licks my nose. I sit in between Tate and Mathias on the couch in front of the theater sized TV. I can't believe Mathias grew up with a screening room his whole life.

"Must be nice to have been this privileged your whole life." I mutter to Mathias. Tate gives me a sideways glance and Mathias shifts away from me.

He doesn't look at me the rest of the night.

I went to bed early, taking Goldie, who usually sleeps with Mathias, with me. Tate didn't seem all to disappointed in fact he followed me to bed and left Mathias alone. I guess tonight didn't go as planned. It was supposed to be fun and I ruined it with my mood swings.

I laid in bed with Goldie curled up above my head, snoring softly. I was hugging a pillow just like I always did when I was going to cry and try to be quiet. I stay in the fetal position for what seems like hours without crying. Ashia was off somewhere in my head, sniffing around. She did that at night because our wolves never sleep. I'm pretty sure she was communicating with Mathias' wolf Ryder.

Cunning devil.

That night I had a dream about my father. I was there when he was attacked. I was screaming and fighting invisible restraints as he was beaten to his death. I focused on the attackers, but their faces weren't clear in my dream; I felt a strange sense of familiarity with them.

When they were done with my father they turned into those rogue who attacked and creeped towards me. I screamed, now trying to get away. My father was staring at me with glassy eyes. He was mumbling but I couldn't focus on his words; my fear of the rogue consumed my body.

"Ridley!" Mathias' voice cut through the panic and fear. I woke up, swinging my fists at invisible people. Mathias dodges and scoops me up in his arms. I wrap my arms around his neck and sob into his shoulder.

"Ssh, baby... It is okay, they can't hurt you again." He strokes my hair, holding me close to him. "I won't let them."

He sat down on the bed, cradling me in his lap.

this keeps going down hill but idk if I'm going to fix it