nostalgia || soonhoon

十三

jihoon was stunned and flabbergasted. soonyoung tried to kill himself? soonyoung had cut himself? but why?

just then, everything came rushing back. all their fights, all of jihoon's hurtful words.

"i'm sorry, soonyoung," jihoon wept. he regretted everything. he hated everything. but it was too late. he couldn't change anything.

hours and hours passed, jihoon sat on the seat outside soonyoung's ward. he couldn't stop crying. the tears just kept on coming.

"mr. lee jihoon?"

jihoon looked up and saw a male with a white coat on.

"y-yes, that's me," jihoon voice cracked.

"we did our best-" the doctor said but jihoon didn't hear the rest. he knew what the doctor was going to say. he didn't want to hear it. he didn't want to believe it. he felt like the whole world was crashing down on him.

jihoon ignored the doctor and rushed into the surgery room.

there lied soonyoung,

lips blue,

eyes closed,

not moving,

not smiling,

face pale,

and lifeless.

jihoon rushed to soonyoung's side and kneeled next to him.

jihoon hugged him but soonyoung was cold.

"soonyoung! soonyoung! hug me back please! like how you always do! please!" jihoon cried.

but soonyoung didn't move.

jihoon cried and cried, eyes red and puffy. he didn't care he just wanted his soonyoungie back.

he wanted his soonyoungie to hug him back and tell him everything was fine and okay.

he wanted his soonyoungie to kiss his forehead and tell him he was alive and fine.

he wanted his soonyoungie to bring him out to dates again.

he wanted his soonyoungie to cuddle with him.

he wanted his soonyoungie to hold his hand and pet his head.

he wanted his soonyoungie back.

but his soonyoungie was gone.

gone forever.

jihoon shook his head as a tear rolled down his cheek. he wiped it off and took a deep breath.

he cleared his thoughts and walked towards the customer service counter(?).

"hi, i-i'm lee jihoon. t-the hospital called me to collect s-something from k-kwon soonyoung." jihoon stammered.

"ah, yes. here." the nurse sitting behimd the counter pulled out something and put it on the counter.

it was a box.

a metal tin to be exact.

it had a piece of paper that said, 'for lee jihoon <3' with soonyoung's handwriting, on the cover of the tin.

jihoon couldn't help but break down in tears. he didn't deserve soonyoung. soonyoung even put a heart next to his name.

"mr. lee, are you okay?" the nurse asked.