Wishing For More

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

~Cannon~

       Getting out of Hunter's house for a bit to help my mom move into her new apartment actually felt good. I did like staying there but spending too much time around the guy I was madly in love with wasn't the best for my feelings.

       Even though he was also my best friend.

       Long story short, my life sucked.

       After helping Mom move everything into her apartment, she ordered some pizza for us for dinner. Once it arrived, we sat at the kitchen counter to have dinner.

       "You know, I'm sorry about what your father said the other day about Hunter," Mom said.

       "You have nothing to apologize for," I said. "Besides, he is right. Nothing will ever happen with me and Hunter."

       "How can you be too sure?" Mom asked.

       I shrugged. "Because I just know it. And it sucks because no matter how hard I try, I just can't get over him. I feel like... Like he's the love of my life but... I'll never be the love of his."

       "Awe, come here," Mom said, giving me a little side hug. "Cannon, one day you are going to find someone who loves you as much as you love him or her. But in the meantime... I think to really let go of how you feel about Hunter, you need to tell him how you feel."

       "Uh... Excuse me?" I asked. "You can't be serious."

       "I am," Mom said. "Look, what you really need with Hunter is closure before you can fully move on. You just have to tell him how you feel so you can finally get that."

       "Okay, no offense, but you're the last person I would go to for relationship advice," I said. "I'm never going to tell Hunter how I feel. It will make things extremely awkward between us and I don't want to lose him as my best friend. I can't lose him as my best friend."

       "Cannon, trust me on this," Mom said. "I know my... history with romance isn't the best but..."

       "Isn't the best?" I interrupted. "Remind me how many times you and Dad got a divorce? And how many times you broke up while you were dating?"

       Mom sighed. "Yes, I know that makes me untrustworthy when it comes to giving you advice but really, telling Hunter will help. The feelings you have for Hunter are bottled up inside, even though you have talked to your father and I about it. The only way you can open that bottle and to be relieved of all of it is to tell Hunter. Stop dancing around your feelings."

       "Mom, you really don't get it," I said. "He's my best friend. He's my only friend; the only person I have outside of my family. And he gets me. He understands how hard it is trying to pursue music when that's what our dads did. We get compared to them so many times and it's like people expect us to be Austin and Cameron 2.0. We understand each other and if I don't have that..."

       "You really think telling him would ruin your friendship?" Mom asked.

       "Uh, yes? I don't see how it could not."

       "Because some things just aren't meant to be, but that doesn't mean you still can't be friends."

       "That's really funny coming from you."

       "Okay, are you just going to be petty towards the relationship between me and your father?"

       "Yeah, pretty much. I do appreciate you trying to give me advice of what to do but... I think only I could decide what to do. Besides, I'm not in any hurry to get over Hunter. I'm young and I have my whole life ahead of me. There's no rush."

       Mom smiled. "That's one way to look at it. You and Hunter have an amazing friendship so it might be smart to ignore my advice for once."

       "For once?" I repeated. "I ignore your advice all the time. But thank you for trying to help me figure things out. It sucks that it's Hunter whom I have feelings for because normally I turn to him for everything but... I can't turn to him for this."

       "Well, even though I, apparently, give bad advice, you can always turn to me if you need to," Mom said. "And your father. You know, whenever he gets over himself and apologizes for what he said to you."

       "Like I said, he doesn't have to apologize when he's right," I said.

       "And we've made it back to the beginning of this conversation," Mom said. "He's not right, Cannon. He never is."

       "Now isn't the time for your and Dad's issues," I said.

       "What I mean is he's wrong about this," Mom said. "He doesn't know how Hunter feels or can feel about you. The only person who would ever know that is Hunter, and until he downright tells you that he doesn't have feelings for you, I don't think you should give up hope."

       "I... actually never thought of it that way," I said.

       "Well, you should have," Mom said. "You should never assume someone can or can't feel a certain way about someone. I can't say there's a chance Hunter will feel the same way about you because really, I'll never know, but... Cannon, I know the love you feel for him is so strong. I don't want you to give up."

       "You know, talking to you is very confusing at times," I said. "Not too long ago, you told me that if I tell him how I feel, that might help me get over him and that one day I will find someone but now, you're saying I shouldn't give up? Which one is it?"

       "I think it's the second one," Mom said. "You shouldn't give up so easily. You shouldn't follow my and your father's path when it comes to giving up too easily, because that's really all we do. You know what you should do if you don't think you can tell him? Drop hints."

       "Mom, haven't you been paying attention to my and Hunter's friendship?" I asked. "That's literally all I do. I flirt with him all the time. It's the best thing I can do because he thinks I'm joking when really, I'm not."

       "Then you need to up your game," Mom said. "Make him fall for you."

       "Wow, you should try being a stand up comedian," I said. "That's a funny joke."

       "Fine, don't take me seriously," Mom said. "But you seriously can't be dancing around your feelings forever. You either tell him or you drop massive hints until he realizes it."

       "Or I can do neither and just cry myself to sleep every night," I said. "I like that idea better."

       Mom sighed. "You're hopeless."

       "Yeah, I know."

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cannon, he loves you just give him a chance :( (i say as if im not writing the story ahahaha)

i feel like a failure because my author notes having been going downhill :( idk what to say in them anymore

i blame summer because nothing interesting is happening so i have nothing to say.

bring on winter pls