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Authors's note

I lied I left you with a cliff hanger. well not really because I'm giving you this chapter before I go off in the morning. I'm staying up all night while I have to get up early just to do some work. Oh and did I mention I was working all week? I know it sounds whiny and stuff, but it's like hammering and fixing houses. I'm 14 and I never do that kind of stuff. Sorry for the rant, but here you go, you thought I was gonna leave you on a off hanger but I didn't. Thank me for that with votes, comments, and shares. I love you guys for getting me up to 100+ reads in a week. thanks guys

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-IF

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Tony cried all the way back to the hospital they were at previously. His sobs were uncontrolled, he's never cried in front of anyone except Steve. Well until now.. He buried his eyes into his palms and let the tears come. Steve meant everything to Tony, and Tony was everything to Steve. Until now. Coulson sat in the back with Tony awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

They arrived at the hospital, and Tony got out, and dried his eyes, standing up straight. Coulson led him to the front desk, and said something to the receptionist there. She got up, and lead them to a regular hospital room, then unlocked and opened a door that had an elevator on the other side of it. There was a keyhole on the elevator to open the doors, and the lady stuck another key into another keyhole. The doors opened, and Coulson pressed a button that lead him and Tony to a room just like a hospital room, except excluded from the rest of the hospital rooms.

Fury walked over to Coulson, and shook his hand. He then turned to Tony, and saw his eyes were red, and puffy.

"Tony I-" Tony cut him off.

"Let's just get this over with. If I do die, tell Steve I love him." Tony took off his shirt, and laid down on the only table in the room. Nick walked over to Tony and stood over him.

"Are you sure Tony?" Tony sat up and threw his legs over the side of table.

"Listen here Fury, I don't have anything left in my life, so don't try to talk me out of it just to save the people that care about me the grief." Tony laid back down, and Fury left with Coulson as doctors filed in to work on Tony.

They gave Tony anesthesia before operating on him, and his last thoughts were of Steve, and how nothing mattered anymore.

Tony woke up with an IV hooked up to him, and a pressure on his chest. He slowly opened his eyes, squinting because the room was so bright. 'Where was- Oh yeah. So I lived.' Were Tony's first thoughts. He looked down at his chest to see it wrapped up in linens and a faint blue glow coming from the middle of it. The door opened with Nick and Coulson entering Tony's hospital room.

"How's the chest?" Fury asked with a proud smile on his face. 'Like he did anything to have that smile' Tony thought.

"It feels like someone was dancing on my chest." (A/N haha guess where that quote is from and you'll be the coolest kid around.) They all chuckled.

"After a few days the pressure and pain in your chest should be gone. You'll be out of here in a week." Fury explained.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Only a day, we were expecting longer." There they go with that we again.

"I'm a part of your team now right?" Tony asked.

"You can be, but you can't tell anyone about us."

"Yeah okay. So who's we and us?"

"We are known as SHIELD, or Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate."

"I know why you call it SHIELD now." Tony stifled a chuckle before his chest started hurting.

"SHIELD is a secret agency, and we help keep the world safe. That's all you need to know for now, before we can trust you more." Nick and Coulson left, and Tony sat there in silence.

And just like that, Tony was a part of SHIELD. He was a part of something secret, and it made him smile at the thought. For once since Steve had forgotten him, Tony was glad he didn't die during the surgery.

A week later, Tony was out of the hospital, and he called Sarah.

"Hey Sarah I was wondering if Steve was out of the hospital now, I didn't know because I was in one myself... He is? Has he remembered anything about me yet?... No?... Oh the hospital? I just got this thing put into my chest it's no bi-... Sarah it's fine, I'm fine. It's keeping me alive I promise... Alright Sarah, you take care too."

Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't cope with this. He went back to what he did when his parents first died, alcohol, and drugs. Steve wouldn't approve, but Steve didn't know him anymore. So it didn't matter to him.

That night Tony got incredibly drunk, and high. He felt like crap, and again wished he hadn't survived the surgery. But he always had hope each day he was in the hospital, that Steve would remember. He didn't want to end it, because he had hope. But each day, that hope wore thinner and thinner.

*

A month had past and Steve still hadn't remembered Tony. Tonight was the night Tony was going to end his pain. It wasn't fair to him. His life hadn't gotten better either, drinking every night was his way to escape the pain.

Tony held the needle to his skin, with an alarming amount of heroine in the tube. Tears fell down his face, with his eyes closed. Tony's phone rang, and he looked over to see it was Sarah. He always answered her calls, but not answering would make it easier for her. Tony shoved the needle in his arm, and injected the heroine. He was sobbing, and then his breathing slowed down. His head started hurting, and it became harder to breath. Tony became dizzy, and fell to the ground. He sat there for a few minutes with his eyes half open. He heard a knock on the door for a few moments then he saw someone look through the window. His vision became slightly blurred, on the verge of passing out, maybe even death. Someone broke down the door, and ran towards him to pick him up.

"Steve." He whispered.

"Tony."

"Steve I-" And just like that, Tony passed out.

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