GUILT | s.r [BOOK 1]

1.4

One last time- Ariana Grande

Don't even think about her

(Language warning)

"What do you mean you can't do anything!"

Mona was absolutely livid. Mr. Porter wasn't even trying. Does he understand how much courage it takes for Hannah to even be here right now?

"If she doesn't know who I can't do anything, it's a strong accusation to make, Ms. Hastings."

"It's not a damn accusation!" She yelled hitting the side of her chair. "Bryce walker did it! You know he's a pig!"

"Hannah?" Mr. Porter turned to the very quite girl. "Is that true?"

"I-I" Hannah wanted to come clean, she really did. She just couldn't believe this was happening to her. If she said it aloud, it would make it real, and she didn't want that.

He sighed and looked at a furious Mona. "There's nothing I can do."

She stood up and swung her bag over her shoulder "You can't or you won't?" She questioned before storming out of his office, letting the door slam behind her.

Her only thought she had while racing down the hallway was Bryce Walker. She couldn't wait to get her hands on him.

"You!" She yelled once she saw him leaning against his locker, laughing with his friends. What a sick-

"Me?" He questions with a smirk.

She got in his face and whispered. "I know what you did to Hannah you son of bitch."

Bryce stilled and a cold expression made its way to his face. "I don't know what you're talking about." He seethed through clenched teeth.

She scoffed. "We both know you do. How can you live with yourself?"

"Quite easy actually."

She pushed his shoulders "You so much a breath in her direction again and I'll kill you."

"Is that a threat?" He questions, that ugly smirk coming back to his face.

"It's a promise." She hissed. "Don't talk to her, don't look at her, don't even think about her!"

"Are you jealous?" He laughed "Come on, baby." He wrapped his arms around her waist. "We can have some fun too."

She was absolutely disgusted. Mona raised her hand and striked him across the face. "Don't touch me!"

Scott ran over from across the hall and pulled her away from him. "What did I tell you before, Walker!"

Bryce chuckled. "Dude, don't be mad at me cause she wants me." He looked over Mona "I don't blame her, I want her too."

Scott threw himself at Bryce and both of them collided with the lockers. "Scott!" Mona tugged his shirt. Not this again.

Monty reached out and pulled her away. "Get back before you get hurt!"

Zach and Justin pulled the two away and Mr. Porter comes running down the hallway, Hannah at the end of it.

"My office now!" He yelled before facing Mona. "All of you."

•|•

"I'm here, I'm here." Mona consoles a weeping Hannah. They were sitting in Mona's room, letting Hannah vent about this whole Bryce mess.

"I can't do it anymore." She sobs, clutching Mona's shirt in her fist.

"You'll get out of this, I know you will." Mona rubbed her back.

"No," Hannah shook her head. "I can't do it anymore." She repeated, hoping she wouldn't have to say what she really meant out loud.

And she didn't.

"Hannah-"

She got up an wiped her tears "I should go."

"You should stay."

•|•

Hannah hasn't been at school in a couple days, everyday Mona's been at her house making sure she was still here with her.

"I have something for you." Mona whispered as she pulled out an envelope out of her bag.

"What is it?" Hannah smiled and held her hand out.

"A letter," she placed the envelope in her hand. "To let you know someone cares." She smiled and walked to the front door.

Hannah watched her leave before looking down at her hands, pulling out the letter.

Dear Hannah,

I want you to know things will get better, but that doesn't mean things won't bad. It's ok to fall back, it's just how life is sometimes.

I know sometimes it feels like everyone else in the whole entire world is so fucking happy, and you ask yourself why you can't be that happy, just like them. Why can't you be "normal."

Hannah, it's ok to feel that way.

You are incredibly strong to get up everyday and push through it; even when your mind feels like it's clouded by a fog of misconceptions.

I can't tell you how proud I am of you or find the right words to express how strong you really are. A person that has to deal with their mental health because 'counselors' can't help. I knew you weren't ready to talk to someone yet, and I'm sorry. I should've never dragged you into that office because that was something personal. So many people have gone through what you have and that's the dark reality.

But so what if someone might have it worse than you, that doesn't mean you aren't suffering on your own way.

I know you feel that people think you're making this up, that you're doing it for attention or for pity. I know this probably won't convince you but, I believe you.

You'll have good and bad days, you'll wonder if all the bad days are really worth the few brief moments of good.

Let me tell you this Hannah Baker, it is so worth it.

So, to my suicidal best friend, I wrote you this letter in your greatest time of need, so you have a reason of why I think you're worth it.

To my best friend, please remember that you are worth it, you are beyond worth it. Remember there are no words to describe how much I believe in you Hannah Banana.

I just ask you of one thing, please live.

Love,
Your best friend, Mo-Mo Hastings.

•|•

"Did you give it to her?" Scott asked as she sat back down on the couch.

Mona nodded her head. "I did."

Scoot sighed and pulled her to him. "She'll be ok, Mona. You'll be there for her."

"I can't lose her like I did Jeff, Scott." She whispered holding his hand. "She's my best friend."

•|•
I hate to say this but we are so close to the end... 😭