He Was My Cousin

Chapter 48

Chapter 48
Yes

"I didn't find the need to tell it to you," he said as he was stroking my hair with his fingers. Nakahinga ako sa sofa ng kanyang unit at naka-unan sa mga hita niya. "Wala naman akong interes tanggapin. I wasn't thinking twice because the answer was clear to me. I didn't want it... really, so I didn't think it was something I needed to discuss with you."

"Hindi naman lahat ng opportunities na magbubukas para sa'yo dapat sunggaban mo na. As I have told you, everything comes with a price. Lahat naman may trade-off. If we're only to talk about prestige, sure... that would really mean a big thing. It's Melendez Corporation tapos EU head office pa. But what will I Iose if I take that job? I hate being a corporate slave, Aya."

Nakikinig lang ako sa kanya habang pinaglalaruan ang tela ng kanyang pants sa bandang tuhod. I like hearing his thoughts... I like it when he pours out whatever he's thinking. He doesn't usually do this, but I wouldn't really mind if he does this forever. I love hearing his mind.

"'Pag sa M Corp. ako, I need to bend to their policies. Pati sa pagpapatakbo nila ng kompanya, pati 'yung pakikitungo ng kompanya sa mga empleyado. In ABF, I can do everything my way. When I see my staff tired, I can just tell them to go home and rest. I can even close down the store for a day if I feel like it. Doon? I can't do that. Empleyado lang din ako. But you know me, I was never one who goes with the rules..."

He sighed, "In ABF, everything's in my hands. I can give them what I want. After all, bakit ko naman ipagdadamot 'yung profit na sobra sobra naman? Why wouldn't I give them their fair share when it's them who worked sweat for it? They are my brand. The quality of their service brought ABF to where it is now. E, sila? They don't even take care of their employees... especially those in low positions. They don't give them benefits. They don't regularize them. Pero wala akong magagawa because it's their company! Bukod pa ro'n... there's Dugout, my apartment building in San Vicente, my family, and you... You see, I don't want to be a part of it for so many reasons."

When he said that, I realized I have always been looking at the prestige and the monetary payoffs of all the opportunities he missed because of the things that happened in the past. Pati noong nalaman ko iyong tungkol sa Melendez Corporation ay iyon agad ang tumakbo sa isip ko. I have only been looking at one angle while missing the one that should have mattered more-what will make Paolo happy?

"I'm sorry..." bigla kong sabi. I felt his fingers stopped combing my hair. "When I heard about that job offer and you never told me about it... pakiramdam ko lang sadya mong tinago sa'kin 'yun... You rarely kept secrets to me but when you keep secrets to me, they're something big."

Back in college, I remembered when he pushed me away telling me he's tired. Pagod na raw siya sa'kin. He ended things then. Tinaboy niya ako. Years later, nalaman kong iyon pala 'yung araw na nalaman niyang hindi siya tunay na Salvatorre. Noong nasa San Vicente naman kami, hindi niya sinabi sa aking nakaka-usap pa rin pala niya ang papa ko.

Sumiksik ako sa bandang tiyan niya, "So I can't really help it when I found out you kept a secret to me again... Natakot ako. I was afraid it will cause us to crumble again."

Hinawi niya ang buhok kong tumatakip sa aking mukha, "I'm never gonna let the happen again. Sabi ko naman sa'yo 'di ba, 'pag may problema, mag-uusap tayo. We may take days to cool down our heads, but we'll definitely confront the issue together."

Tumango ako at umupo. I looked away, still feeling guilty. "Sorry for ruining your birthday," mahina kong sabi.

Naramdaman kong umusog siya upang mas maging malapit sa akin. Bumagsak ang ulo niya sa balikat ko, "Make it up for me?"

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Hmm?"

"Ditch work for me on Friday. Let's go somewhere..."

Naisip ko iyong mga lesson plans na kailangan kong i-approve, ngunit tumango ako. I was barely with Paolo on his birthday. His friends were all over him. The time we could have spent together in his unit was lost because I overreacted.