He Was My Cousin

Chapter 6

Merry Christmas! :") ♡

Chapter 6
Romualde

I have been awake for three hours, but I still haven't gotten up from my bed and I didn't think I would be anytime soon. My head was a mess.

Muli kong binalikan ang mga nangyari kahapon at napapatakip na lang ako ng unan sa mukha ko. Naalala ko ang mukha ni Jiro. I knew he was angry. Alam ko ring ako ang may kasalanan, na ako ang dapat gumawa ng paraan upang magkabati kami.

And then there was Paolo. For the five years we didn't meet, he has changed so much and yet, I know, there will always be a tug of familiarity. Hindi ko maintindihan. He has changed and yet somehow, to me, he seemed to be the same man.

Then I remember he was getting married. Yesterday was a mess, but now I've sorted out what I feel at dito sa dibdib ko - I admit... I felt cheated on. I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way. Ngunit iyon ang nararamdaman ko. I didn't know anything! I didn't even know the girl! Ni hindi ko alam na may girlfriend siya!

Pero agad ko ring sinaway ang sarili ko. Hindi naman ako nawala sa buhay niya no'ng isang araw lang... limang taon na ang nakakalipas. At anong karapatan kong mag-demand? The guy was decent enough to want me to be in his wedding; I should be grateful, right? I should be happy for him... No, I am happy for him.

He was happy. His life was okay. Mine should be all okay too, right? I need to fix it. I shouldn't mess this up. Not my relationship with Jiro, not with my best man. So I got my phone on my side table and texted Jiro.

Me:
Good morning, Jiro. Let's have dinner tonight? Are you free? Pleeeease?

Halos trenta minutos matapos kong i-text iyon ay nakatanggap ako ng reply mula sa kaniya. Sabay ding pumasok ang text mula kay Ate Sky.

Jiro:
Can't. Nasa site ako sa San Fernando. Eat your dinner on time.

Ate Sky:
RC tomorrow, 6:30 PM. :)

He's in Pampanga and he didn't even let me know. He's really upset. Dati naman ay 'pag may tampuhan kami, ipinapaalam pa rin niya kung may pupuntahan siyang malayo... Pero ngayon, nasa Pampanga siya at mukhang wala siyang balak sabihin kung hindi pa ako nagtext. And so I couldn't meet him now. Ayaw ko namang mag-sorry sa cell phone lang. It wouldn't be sincere... it's effortless. And damn the guy who taught me that ages ago.

Jiro's usually in my school on Mondays to supervise the construction. I'll make sure we'd be able to talk then. I wouldn't let him slip away, especially not like this. Kung kailangan ako ang sumuyo sa kanya? I'd do that. To keep him. To be with him.

Me:
Okay. You take care :)

And then Ate Sky... Yesterday was so eventful and I even committed to coming to Ate Sky's pregnancy announcement. Gusto ko naman talang pumunta, but I'm afraid on how they'll take my attendance. I'm sure they knew about my relationship with Paolo by now dahil ang tagal naming nawala noon. Tanggap kaya nila ako? Was Ate Abby mad?

Me:
Yes, Ate Sky. See you!

Bumuntong-hininga ako. I seriously should have taken into consideration staying in the States for good! But no, if I stayed there then I wouldn't be together with Jiro now. Ugh! Why couldn't I have Jiro less all the drama I have now and perhaps, tomorrow too?

Gumulong-gulong ako sa kama ko. Wala na rin naman akong kawala, hindi ba? So I let my Saturday pass like that. Tanging pagtulog lang ang inatupag ko. I didn't bug Jiro because I think he needed time. Gusto ko munang pahupain ang galit niya. Hindi rin ako nakipagkita kina Liz ngayon dahil wala ako sa mood. I can't talk about all these to them now.