He Was My Cousin

Chapter 42

Chapter 42
Truth Hour

"Why didn't you come back when Riyu and Sky were getting married?" tanong niya.

He gulped from his can of beer and I took the spot next to him. Parehas kaming nakahilig sa railings ng balkonahe ng kanyang condo. He continued, "I thought I'd see you then. Pero ni anino mo wala. Sobrang nagtampo si Sky. It's her wedding... your cousin's wedding."

I stared at the view in front of me - the night sky, the city lights, the stars. I could feel Paolo staring at my side profile when I said, "I knew I'd see you there. Hindi ba't ikaw nga ang best man sa kasal nila?" Tumango siya. I let out a small smile, "I wasn't ready for your wrath, Paolo."

"But I wasn't angry," he said, his voice as if convincing me to turn back the time and do things differently. He sighed, "And you believe you were ready years later?"

"Siguro."

"Ah," he said. "So that's why when you thought I was getting married, you congratulated me?" protesta niya nang bigla niyang naalala iyong una naming pagkikita matapos kong bumalik mula sa States.

Natawa ako nang makita kong ang sama ng tingin niya sa akin. He continued, "If that were you, I wouldn't care less if we didn't see each other for years - hell will break loose! You can't just appear right in front of me with a wedding invitation!"

I cocked my head to his side and watch him with his outburst and then suddenly a smile was creeping to his lips, "Unless it's me you're getting married with. Of course, that would be fine..." he mumbled.

I cliked my tongue, dismissing his flirty remark. I reasoned, "You can't blame me. Japoy's too young to get married. Ate Shine didn't seem to be the marrying type. Plus you were the one sending the invites. It was all pointing on you!"

He shrugged. "But to congratulate me, really, Aya?"

Humalakhak ako sa paghihimutok niya. But in between my laughters a thought occured to me. Pilit ko namang winawaglit ito sa isip ko... But it just won't go away.

He could have been married to Vienne by now if I came back a little later. How could I forget that fact?

Paano ko malilimutan na minsan sa buhay niya, naniwala siyang si Vienne 'yung gusto niyang makasama habang buhay? How could I forget that fact if that's a solid proof that Paolo has seen a future with her that he didn't see with me despite all that we've been through?

And I can't shut down the guilt in my system, too. No matter how euphemistic Paolo tried to be, I'm part of the reason why they broke up. Kahit hindi ko man iyon ginusto; kahit hindi ko man directly ginawa iyon. Nanira ako ng relasyon. And it's just not some relationship... they had thoughts of marrying each other!

Bakit kahit na nasa tabi ko si Paolo ngayon ay pakiramdam ko talo pa rin ako ni Vienne?

Probably because I'll forever be imprisoned of the thoughts that she could have been his wife. Na ako iyong naging kontrabida sa istorya nila. That I messed up things between them just because I ignited some old flame... some memories that weren't even nice to remember.

"Hey..." Nabalik na lang ako sa ulirat ko nang hawakan ni Paolo ang braso ko. He let out a small smile, "You're spacing out. Penny for your thoughts?"