High For Him

I Don't Love You

"What do you think you're doing? You cannot save him, you could barely save yourself when your own parents neglected you. Do you remember all the kids who used to call you Ms.piggy?" Coby chuckled ruthlessly, "Do you, Ms.piggy!" He spat.

"Shut up!" I yelled, hot tears spilling down my cheeks.

"You aren't strong enough Quinn, admit it! You're just a fat, ugly waste of oxygen!" Coby said.

"Shut the f*ck up!"

"Ms.piggy, Ms.piggy!" He taunted.

When Coby was distracted once again, Kane tripped him making Coby fall on the hard concrete. His gun flew as his body collided with the floor.

I rushed to the gun kicking it as far away from him as possible. Kane was holding Coby down with his hands but I knew that wasn't going to keep him long.

My trembling hands held the heavy gun. I was battling a mental war, it was either Coby or us. It was wrong to choose who deserves to live or die.

But once I pulled the trigger and Coby's once struggling body became still I knew there was no better choice. Someone was going to die tonight, I'm just glad it wasn't us.

My body was slowly shutting down, but I knew if we didn't get out of here now, I wouldn't get out at all.

"Quinn, we've got to go," I heard Kane's  muffled voice as my body began to stop.

My eyes flutter close, but the loud sounds of gunshots, screaming, and death kept me awake, barely.

***

Empty.

It was hard to identify what I was feeling. Did I feel sad? No. Remorse? I don't think so.

The ride back to the warehouse was silent, not a single noise but the sound of the wheels on the bumpy roads.

It took about half an hour to an hour to get back. My entire body was paralyzed. I guess killing someone can really f*ck you up.

"Are you okay?" Kane says in a soft voice.

"I want to go home." I said, not being able to look him in the eye. I couldn't, I knew if I did I would fall back in that fictional trance I was hypnotized into.

Like they said it was all a plan. I didn't really love him. It was all a ginormous skit I wasn't aware was taking place. Right?

"Quinn there's nothing there for you-"

"I said, I want to go home, Kane!" I shout, my fingers shaking uncontrollably. It was like eighty degrees but I was still shaking like a chihuahua.

"Okay." He sighs, running his fingers through his platinum blonde locks.

In under twenty minutes I collect all my belongings and placed Princess into her doggy bag. She had been cuddling with Clover, my heart melting knowing they would never see each other again.

"You ready?" Kane asks, starting the car.

I nod. I finally closing my eyes for rest, but I couldn't seem to fall asleep. It was nearly impossible.

***

It's been two hours and we're still in the car, my eyes still wide open. I caught Kane glancing over at me from time to time.

The ginormous elephant in the room was getting bigger the more we ignore the situation.

"Quinn, why are you doing this?" The wall of silence is broken, just like my spirit.

"I can't do it anymore. I was nearly killed in there!" I yell.

"Don't you think I know that? Quinn I love you for f*cks sake, I would die if they hurt you don't you understand that?" He says. "Your smile, your voice, the fact that you can't cook for sh*t,"

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met and you don't know that. I love that, I love you Quinn Brown." He finished, catching his breath.

I love you too, I wanted to say. But the words couldn't come out. The lies, the pain that's all that crossed my mind at the moment.

"No you don't, you were manipulated into thinking that. You and me, we were just a plan to get you back here. I'm sorry you still believe that." I looked away, out the window.

Buildings, homes, and people passed by rapidly. Hot tears feel down my cheeks, rubbing them away was no use. They just kept spilling, involuntarily.

"I don't love you." I whispered.

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Edited 07/26/20