A Father's Lover (A Lams AU)

Chapter 7 - Gaydar

"Should I call him, tomorrow? Or should I wait longer? Am I too desperate?"

"Jesus Fucking Christ, Alex, you sound like a teenage girl."

Alexander ignored Maria's words, staring intensely at his cell phone. Over and over again, he read John's number, staring at the blank screen. It's been almost a week since he met the guy, and he just couldn't get him out of his head. It was just like that time with...

"Maria, help me! Do I seem needy? What if he already doesn't like me? Have I fucked up?" Alex continued asking Maria questions about the situation, as she just rolled her eyes.

"Are you needy? Absolutely; you're horny as fuck. Does he like you? I have no clue. Maybe? Maybe not? You literally just met him. Have you fucked up? Yeah. A lot. Have you fucked up the situation with Laurens, I dunno. Why are you asking me?" She answered most of his questions, sighing at the desperate man before her. "Listen, before you even try sleeping with him, maybe you should try and figure out if he likes guys or not, first. That's where I'd start, if I were you, 'Lexi."

"And how should I do that? Last guy I tried to get with turned out to be straight, and have a girlfriend," Alex's gaze redirected towards his wooden floor, saddened by recalling the memory. "Apparently, after the divorce my gaydar broke. I used to be able to point out people in the streets and be like, 'she's a lesbian', 'definitely a homo', 'she's probably bi', 'nothing straight about him', 'they're pansexual, they want whatever', 'gay, but could possibly be bi', 'they're in a gay relationship', 'damn, he's cute and so, obviously gay, I'mma try and hit that', and so on. And I'll tell you, Mar', my predictions were always right."

"Well, maybe your gaydar isn't broken, yet. I'm sure that guy just messed with it a bit," she tapped her chin. "So, let's put it to the test. What about me? What do you think I am?"

"Lesbian," Alex answered without any hesitation, whatsoever. Maria's face immediately flushed red.

"What?!" She exclaimed, furrowing her eyebrows. "I was married to a man!"

"Yeah, and I was married to a woman," he shrugged, "and I think dudes and dicks are hella fine, and much more appealing."

"So, you think I'm a lesbian?" She attempted to clarify, and Alex answered with a nod of his head. "Well, bad news, 'Lex, turns out your gaydar is officially broken. I guess you'll have to do it the ol' fashioned way..."

"Stalk his Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and see who he follows, what he likes, how he poses in pictures, and clues for any past relationships?"

"That...or you could just, I dunno, ask him. You could be like, 'hey, bro, so, you a fan of dick, or pussy, or both, or neither? Why? Asking for a friend. Also, by the way, you're really cute, and I really wanna fuck you. No homo, though,'," Maria imitated a man's voice, laughing at herself, as Alexander just rolled his eyes. "Or you could always text him, 'Wanna bang?' and if he is confused, or says no, you hit him with the 'lol, autocorrect, sorry I meant *hang', but if he says yes, then you know you got him."

Suddenly, startling both of them, Alex's phone started going off. Who could be calling him this late at night? Glancing at the number on his phone, he almost froze when he immediately recognized it.

"Who's that?" Maria pointed at the number, which read as an unknown caller.

"It's John," Alex smirked, completely full of excitement, and Maria stared at him in confusion.

"I thought he didn't have your name? You only said he gave you his."

"I slipped my number secretly into his contacts, when he handed me his phone to copy his number down."