Letters To Myself (#Nanowrimo2017 Winning Novel!)

13,

Dear Myself,

Camp Nanowrimo is officially underway! I set an early alarm for day one which started on April 1st which my body clock surprisingly had no trouble adjusting to it. Having myself sat up in bed, planning notes beside me and my iPad on ready to go, I smiled as my fingers started to type up the first chapter. My novel doesn't have a title yet but from watching Nanowrimo advice videos on YouTube, a lot of writers wanted until the end of the month before naming their novel so at the moment Diary, it's called Untitled but it's not about a fantasy kingdom and fighting for the throne. I made a promise to myself before April 1st that one of the characters in my story would be loosely inspired by myself and good news so far is that everything regarding plot and structure is going well so far and have met my daily word count targets for each day!

The main character is called Haley and she's basically me in a nutshell. If I ever was interviewed about the making of this novel, first thing I would mention would be about me as a person and the decision to make Haley me in the story but just not using my real name if that makes any sense or not. Probably doesn't but we're just going to go with it. There are four girls travelling in the BMW campervan together and each one has their own personalities and traits. The enjoyment would be very low if each girl sounded, acted and liked the same things right?

I'm somewhat lucky that it's Spring Break at the moment and I don't have to be attending classes that generally make me feel like the most miserable goat in the universe. Damien is often away with his sports and chatting with mates on Skype and xBox so you'll never get a peep out of him. To my other advantage, Dad has set up the old family computer in the shed down the bottom of the garden with a strong internet signal in case any of us needs quiet space to work. It's lovely and relaxing to just sit there and get on with the task at hand and even forgetting what time it is as well, time doesn't exist when I'm writing because... I am just writing and currently, that is my world.

Leia is still busy seeing her crush on dates and smoking (still) I haven't seen the Bieber hair guy in a few weeks now but the upcoming months make me realise that now, I really have to start pulling myself together if I stand any chance of moving forward on the right path. The exams next month scare me tremendously so it's nice to have a distraction such as trying to write a 30,000 word novel for instance! I did notice in a local newspaper an advert for a local writing group but it is mainly targeted at older adults who are really serious about getting a publishing deal and agents which for me right now isn't my main priority.

Mum hasn't moved much from her bed for the last few days, the baby is due next week and her aim is to try and de-stress as much as possible so me, Dad and Damien are all doing our bit around the house to help out. Seeing my parents as loved up as ever made me have a double take for a minute that one day in the future, this may happen to me or even to Damien if he falls in love and decides to tie the knot. Their wedding photos still proudly sit on the family mantelpiece with almost everyone wearing smiles and the last few months of one of my Uncles who passed away soon after the wedding.

I think the aim of family is important and hopefully in my novel, Haley and the other girls will learn that their parents were once teens themselves, trying to navigate through puberty and falling head over heels in love for a boy riding a motorbike or girl driving a car. The silly rows I used to have with Mum when I was around thirteen years old about her not relating to mood-swings and buying bras, actually in fact she used to have those rows with her Mum too. It's all natural and just a part of developing and growing up. It's just I matured a little bit faster than some of the girls that used to be in my GCSE classes. They were the ones always talking about getting their hair and nails done and who was flirting with who but actually, all of them ended up with poor grades in the end and couldn't stay on to do A-Levels. One of them also ended up having a baby at fifteen which must have been terrifying for her but it was her own life choice and even though personally, a silly one to select, I hope that her child goes on to do well in education and life in general.

Back to my writing, maybe I could look for a writing class of some sort over the summer break? Diary, why do I have to feel so anxious over the tiniest of things such as filling out a form or asking people questions if I'm not sure about something? I could go and ask in the city Waterstones if they know any writing groups or workshops running but then again, maybe I should keep all of my fictional writing secret? Post it online? Maybe I should post it online when it is nearly or completely finished and see what happens. Dad isn't a fan of social media at all while Mum tweets every now and again but using my real name online to promote my writing for now is out of the question. I don't want to be judged by other students or complete strangers living on the other side of the world for example.

See, this nagging voice has to go but it's so hard to shake it off and brush it away. If Taylor Swift can sing about it then surely I can physically do it too? Not sing but write and happily discuss a hobby that I keep a passion for behind closed doors.

We wait for the baby, and still we wait.

Yours,

Morwenna.

PS The puppy was never claimed and so has been adopted out to a local family a few streets away and named Rolex after the brand of watches!