Hope ~ Taekook

knock knock get the door it's depression

3:30.

Tae woke up in a bed he didn't recognize in an equally unfamiliar room. A look on his wristwatch confirmed it was still night. His first attempt at moving sent a strobing pain down his spine, so he relaxed against the sheets and waited for his eyes to get used to the darkness. After a while he could make more and more shapes and objects out.

Tae knew this room. Suddenly the events of the previous hours slammed awake in his mind—flickering laser lights and music and bodies and Jungkook's voice in his ear. He bolted upright. The whole house was quiet except for a low-pitched breathing on his right side.

Jungkook—Sitting in a chair and looking at him.

"Jungkook..." Taehyung choked on his words, racing into the bathroom to dry heave into the sink.

As he was throwing up for the second time that night he could hear the other boy silently follow him into the other room.

"If I vomit on you it is only half-intentional."

"Don't worry, I might lose the battle with my own stomach first. People vomiting are fucking disgusting."

"Then why are you here?" Tae said, slowly turning around to not shake up his stomach again. Seeing Jungkook's worried and slightly panicked looks in his eyes made him think he might actually have a heart despite the way he was acting before.

"Is your learning curve a horizontal line?" Jungkook asked, "I said I would help you."

Tae looked at him, surprised by his serious look.

"But why?"

Jungkook completely passed over that question and instead took him back into his room to carefully sit him back down on his bed. He opened his dresser and returned with a towel and an armful of clothes, all of which he shoved at Taehyung.

"You're a sopping mess. Get out of my sight and clean up before I wring your neck."

Tae took everything back down the hall to the bathroom and this time locked himself in. He slowly washed away the night's sweat. The clothes Jungkook lent him were ridiculously big even for him, but at least they were soft and comfortable. Tae bundled his dirty clothes and dropped them into the hamper on the way out. He felt relaxed for the first time that night, a feeling that faded at the sight of Jungkook leaning in the doorway looking amused at the other boy.

"Ten bucks says you don't make it over here before passing out," His mouth quirked in the start of a smile, but he suppressed it. And it surely would have been funny if Tae didn't really stumble after taking two steps into Jungkook's direction, frantically grabbing at the wall and almost falling if the other boy had not quickly grabbed his hips.

"Looks like you owe me ten bucks." Jungkook quietly whispered into Taehyung's ears while carefully pushing him back on to his bed.

Jungkook reclaimed his seat on the chair in the corner, studying the other boy in silence. He was looking for answers, but Tae didn't know what the question was. All he could do was gaze back until Jungkook finally shook his head and looked away.

"You intrigue me."

Tae swallowed, mouth gone dry, "I'm not that interesting."

"Funny," A flicker of a smile and a gaze that never wavered, "Uninteresting people generally don't have to say that."

Taehyung didn't know what to answer but he didn't have to. A wave of nausea rolled through his whole body forcing him to bend over, holding his breath. Tae didn't know what sound he made but Jungkook's fingers were a sudden weight on his neck. Jungkook pushed him forward and held him down while Tae tried and tried and tried to breathe but his chest was as tight as a rubber band ready to snap.

"My meds..." he managed to spit out through gritted teeth.

"Your... medication?" That wiped the irritation of Jungkook's face, "Where? Where is it?"

"My coat. Right side." Tae murmured. The other boy was out of the room before he could finish but returned just moments later.

Jungkook tried to open one of Taehyung's clenched fists to give him one of the pills he grabbed out of the small container. But the other boy didn't react.

"Hey... Hey! You have to calm down before I can fix you up, okay? Taehyung?"

Tae breathed, too shallow to reach his lungs but enough for him to concentrate on grabbing what Jungkook was holding in front of him. With shaky fingers he placed the pill on his tongue and swallowed. This disrupted his frantic breathing pace enough that Tae managed a real breath. He sucked in a second as fast as he could and then a third and a fourth. His insides were still quaking as he got a sixth, but he was off the ledge and safe and didn't care he was two seconds from getting violently ill. He went limp and let Jungkook pull him back upright.

As soon as Tae looked up he met Jungkook's eyes, confused and worried.

"I am so sorry," Taehyung said.

"For what?"

"I am a terribly messed up person and I don't know how to fix myself. I am so so sorry you had to see me like this Jungkook," His voice cracked halfway through that second sentence.

"Say sorry one more time and I will kill you."

The silence that followed was brittle. Taehyung had said everything he had to say and Jungkook didn't show a crack in his stern mask. Tae's stomach made a nauseating flip. He didn't want to give away so much about himself. He thought Jungkook went with Jimin to visit his family, so he would have the weekend all to himself but now here he was with the roommate that hated him and the most vulnerable he was in years. This was terrifying to him. Taehyung was taught young how to be stone cold and self-reliant and to only cry behind closed doors, how to break down without anyone knowing and to never ask for help. He had to be the perfect son and stronger older brother while being confronted with violence and lies that still haunted him to that day. But now he was sitting here, on the verge of tears, in front of a stranger who could use all of this against him the second he wanted to.

"I knew this was a mistake. I never should have moved in here," Tae murmured

"Wait, what?" Jungkook had trailed off with his thoughts as well, waiting for Taehyung to say something. But not this.

"I don't... I just don't know what to think right now. Please just.... Just leave," His voice not more than a whisper.

"This is my room. Also... you need me."

"I don't need anyone," Tae could hear the question behind that sentence in his own voice. Mentally slapping himself to get his act back together, "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"Then stop looking."

Jungkook said nothing for so long that Tae thought he'd blown it but finally he moved. He sat down right where he was standing, now closer inspecting the pill bottle he was holding instead of the other boy. That wasn't necessarily any better. His depression was something Taehyung struggled with a lot before coming to terms with it. His parents never accepted it and for the longest time he didn't think he had the right to feel depressed. His mother would tell him over and over how many people were having it worse and that he should get his act together. For years he believed her.

"Then why did you come here?"

"What?"

"If you knew this was a mistake I mean."

For a split second Tae felt guilt, though he wasn't exactly sure why. He crushed it as fast as he could. He had too much else to worry about now and was feeling too much already to deal with a strange thing like guilt.

"I don't know," Tae said. "Why would you care? I thought you hated me."

It was like that punched all the joy out of Jungkook, but the look that crossed the boy's face next was too fast for Tae to decipher. He slowly got up and walked in the direction of the door.

"I thought it was clear by now that I don't," and with that he was gone.

A/N I am a little unsure about this part. It took me really long to write and has a personal note which I usually like to differentiated from my writing but I hope you like it anyways :) 

I also tried to make it longer, worked a little bit.