34. Countdown Methods.

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I was taught,
That if I was ever,
Feeling scared, anxious or nervous.
I should count down from 10.
To release stress and angst.
A method I learned from my own Therapist and Psychiatrist.

But when I count down from 10 it goes a lot more like this:

10:
Breathe in.
9:
Breathe out.
8:
Inhale.
7:
Exhale.
6:
Hold your breathe.
5:
Rooms spinning.
4:
Panic.
3:
Dizzy.
2:
Seeing nothing.
1:
Unconscious.

There's a lot of Countdown Methods,
For people like me.
Who are diagnosed with:
Bi-Polar Depression, Panic Disorder, Acute Anxiety and prone to attacks,
At any moment.

Counting down from 10.
Doesn't work.
It was never good,
For,
My,
Conscious Sanity.

Until then,
My,
Mind will remain,
Unconscious.
Insane.
With too many thoughts,
Crowding every corner.
No amount of counting,
Would ever make them disappear.

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