Foresight: A Superhero Story

27. Addicts

"How did you sleep last night?" Roland leaned towards me, his face was beautifully contorted with concern.

I remembered scrubbing Specter's dried blood off my arms the night before. "Great."

"Really?" Roland looked surprised. "Even after yesterday? With Clout?"

I thought of Specter lying in a puddle of his own blood. "I'm just trying not to think about it."

Roland nodded sympathetically. He sipped absentmindedly from his pop as he leaned back in the theater's stiff seats. "So... You gonna be okay?"

I took a bite of popcorn, chewing slowly to buy some time. I thought of Clout's fingers under my chin. I thought about his warning and the anger in his eyes as he shoved me off the docks. "Yeah. I'll be okay," I said, trying to convince myself more than Roland. 

He shot me a suspicious glance, but said nothing. The theater darkened, signaling the start of the movie. Roland sighed and shifted in his chair. I was grateful for his presence. I had been feeling unsafe in my apartment, and even more unsafe outside.

Having Roland nearby was a small comfort, but I worried if my presence would place him in danger. I couldn't bear the thought of him getting hurt because of me, but I also couldn't bear the thought of no longer having his friendship. Roland's companionship was something I hadn't realized I missed. I was terribly lonely in my predictable, old life.

I knew that no matter what happened, I would do everything possible to keep him safe. Clout and Specter were easily able to track me down. I glumly wondered what other supers were out there, waiting to disrupt my life. Even if I had to give up Roland, I could live with the knowledge that he would be safe from the dangerous superheroes and supervillains plaguing my life.

I zoned out for awhile, not really watching the movie. To be honest, I wasn't entirely sure which movie we were watching. I just picked one at random. I needed an excuse to get out of my apartment and away from the bloody mess in my bathroom leftover from the previous evening. No matter how many times I cleaned or how hard I scrubbed, I could still see traces of Specter's blood on the tile floor.

A loud gunshot jarred me from my thoughts. I jumped and inhaled sharply. It took me a minute to register that the gunshots were happening on screen. I felt Roland's hand pat mine in a comforting manner. I didn't even realize I was clinging to his arm. The darkened theater thankfully hid my blushing face. I attempted to remove my hand, but Roland held it firmly in place. My skin felt like it could combust from the contact. I felt a strange flutter in my stomach. I ignored the sensation, instead choosing to focus on the movie. 

At some point during the film, Roland's hand became interlaced with mine. We sat for the remainder of the movie, comfortable with each other's presence. When the movie ended, I reluctantly released his hand as I stood. I gathered our half eaten bag of popcorn and my pop. Roland stood and stretched, raising his arms high above his head. I tried not to stare as the lower portion of his abs peaked out from beneath his shirt.

I was the first to break the silence. "That was a lame movie."

"Yeah. Every action movie cliche was there." Roland grimaced as a sweaty man bumped him exiting the aisle.

"The characters were two dimensional... And it just played out like some kind of revenge fantasy."

Roland suddenly looked more serious. "We should have picked a different movie."

"What?"

"I mean..." He shot me a meaningful look. "Since yesterday-"

I glanced around the emptying theater before cutting him off. "Roland, I'm fine." I could tell he didn't believe me. Hell, I wasn't entirely sure I believed myself. I could tell he was still concerned, seeing me so startled in the middle of the movie really affected him. I ran an agitated hand through my hair. "I've had my fair share of rough scrapes before. This isn't any different."

"But-"

"Don't treat me like I'm fragile. I've seen shit you couldn't conjure up in your worst nightmares." I exhaled loudly and calmed myself before continuing. "I'm okay. I promise." I exited the theater, Roland was just behind me.

Why do I want to hurt him?

We weaved our way out of the crowd and walked side by side on the sidewalk.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you."

"That's okay... I'm sorry I snapped at you." I really was sorry. Most of the time my apologies held no real meaning for me, but I felt different around Roland. I wanted to be different... No, not different, better.

Roland stopped and checked out a pub across the street. He gave me a small smile. "You want to grab a beer?"

I was dreading this question from the moment we first became friends. I felt a knot of dread in my stomach. "I can't go in there."

Roland looked surprised. "What?"

I looked down in embarrassment. I idly dug the toe of my boot into a crack in the sidewalk.

"If there's some issue with your tab, I can pay it."

"I can't go in there because... It's..." I sighed and rolled my head to the side before meeting Roland's curious blue eyes. "Bars aren't great places for former addicts."

Roland's jaw opened, closed, then opened again. He immediately looked away, then turned towards me as if to speak. Then he stopped himself and looked down.

I figured he would do as much. I knew this was it. He'd spend the rest of the evening with me. Roland was a gentleman. He'd change the subject, finish out the night, and then slowly begin to distance himself. Gradually at first, then faster and faster, until he never sees me at all. The realization hurt, but I had been preparing myself for this. After all, I've been through this before.

"I'm sorry. You should have told me earlier." Roland looked at me with mournful eyes. "Oh god, I'm such an ass."

I frowned and scrutinized his face. Roland didn't behave like I anticipated. I felt oddly unsettled by his comment. "You're not an ass."

He looked up at me. He looked so sad. Roland wasn't looking at me with pity, his eyes were asking me to forgive him. "I'm sorry."

"Roland..." I didn't know what to say. "Just forget I said anything."

Roland regained some of his composure. "So... Alcohol?"
 
"Amongst other things."

"Oh..." His voice abruptly lightened in tone. "Well that's a bummer. I guess I'll have to hide my drugs."

I burst out laughing. The idea of straight-laced Roland doing any drugs was preposterous. He laughed in return. We quickly dissolved into a giggling mess. I had laughed until there were tears running down my face. All of the anger, sadness, loneliness, resentment... It was all banished to the far corners of my mind.

When we had recovered from the laughing spell, Roland looped his arm through mine and pulled me lightly down the sidewalk. After a brief silence, he leaned in towards me slightly. "It doesn't matter to me."

I stopped in my tracks. "Wha-"

"Your past. It doesn't make me think any less of you."

I felt tears well in my eyes. I sniffed and wiped them away with my fingers. How did this absolutely perfect person wind up in the dumpster-fire, trainwreck that I call my life. I took a moment to thank whatever deity placed Roland into my life. "Thanks Roland. I-I really needed to hear that."

Roland wrapped me into a loose hug. "So where to now?"

I pulled away from his hug and gave him a tentative grin. "I believe you promised me a Star Trek marathon."