Cuts - Kellic (Book One) // boyxboy

Prologue

The loud explosion of fireworks are a distant sound as I stare at my best friend. The colors reflect off his glassy eyes and light up his handsome features.

He's trying to be strong. He always does for me. But he's hurting. And I just learned to what extent he's hurting.

His tanned arms are wrapped tightly around his knees in a defensive manner. He's always so open with me but right now he's completely shut off.

He pretends to he watching the fireworks but his eyes are swimming with tears, letting me know that his mind is elsewhere.

I shift closer to him and take his hand from his knee. He's stiff and apprehensive but allows me to hold it.
"Thank you, for the jacket." I murmur.

After all, that's how this started. In the moment of his habitual sweetness, he had given me his jacket to ease my shivering but forgot about the secrets he had been hiding under his sleeves.

He doesn't want to talk about it and I can see that. I don't want to push it. But at the same time, I need him to know that he doesn't have to suffer alone.

"I've thought about it before." I admit. "I've never done it but I've thought about it."

This makes him look at me again.

"Why?" he whispers.

"Things get hard sometimes. And it's easier to have that release than to actually talk to people about what's hurting." I explain.

He looks down and rubs my cold fingers to warm them up.

"Yeah," he breathes. "But you can always talk to me."

I smile nuzzle myself into his shoulder. He drops my hand and puts his arm around me.

"I know that now. And I hope you know that you can talk to me too." I smile sadly.

He lets out a shaky breath and looks back at the fireworks that seem never ending.

"It's hard. I care so much about you. I don't want you to see me differently." he mumbles.

"I would never. You're always going to be my goofy best friend." I beam.

He breaks a smile at that, which relieves me.

He then intertwines the fingers on his free hand with my mine. His thumb brushes over my wrist, my clean, undamaged, unwounded, unscarred wrist.

"Promise me that you'll never do it." he murmurs.

"If it means that much to you, I'll never even consider it again." I smile.

He nods as a tear falls down his cheek. It's stops midway and just sits there.

I move his wrist up and lean down a bit, meeting it halfway. My lips kiss his scarred tissue and his healing gashes, avoiding the fresh sensitive ones in fear of hurting him.

"I kissed it. It's all better now." I chirp, turning to Vic who has even more tears covering his cheeks.

One of my hands is trapped in the pocket of Vic's jacket and the other one is locked with Vic's. With both my hands being indisposed and unable to wipe away Vic's tears, I do the first instinctual thing which so happens to be leaning in and licking his salty tear away.

If it were anyone other than Vic, I would be too disgusted to do it, but for Vic, I'd do anything.

He near squeals before he bursts out into laughter. His laughter is beautiful but rare these days and I can't help but to catch it.

I bury my face into his chest as his whole body wracks with happiness. His eyes fill with tears once again but they're a different kind of tear. The tears that I'm used to seeing from Vic, when I clumsily trip and fall flat on my ass or when we throw popcorn at the tall people in front of us at the theater. These are the tears that I've grown to love.

"You're so gross." he snorts.

"You love it." I tease.

He just sighs dreamily and looks back at the sky.

"Hey," I say getting his attention. "Promise me that you'll stop, if not for you, then for me."

He smiles and nods.

"I promise." he whispers.

I take note that the fireworks have stopped so I pick up my phone and check the time. It's 12:04.

I look to Vic and frown but he's looking at the view we have from the rooftop of his home.

He was supposed to be my midnight kiss and I missed that window. Tonight I was supposed to tell him how I feel about him but I'm glad we've had this conversation.

"Happy new year, Vic." I smile.

"Happy new year, Kells." he replies. "I'm sorry I ruined our night. Thank you for being here for me. I really needed my best friend and I know you'll always be here."

He then pulls me into a hug. I'm touched by his words but cant help but to over analyse them.

He really needs a friend and it would be selfish of me to take that away from him. Maybe I should hold back on the whole 'boyfriend dream' for a while and just be here for him.