I Just Don't Know- oh- oh.

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I'm not gonna bullshit with you, I suck at uploading, and I'm soooo sorry this took so long. It's so intense so get your tissues ready. Okay? I'll keep this brief, but I'm just gonna let you guys know that Fix Me With Your Love only has two chapters left! D': i know, it breaks my heart, but I have loooaaaadddsss more for you guys so no worries :D

SONG: Why You Askin All Them Questions?!

PS: masssiiiveee thanks to @ctoms101 for the help!

Enjoy (and ignore my mistakes)

Lauren (: x

GRETCHEN's POV:

A bitter cold rushed down my back, spiking each of my backbones and causing me to shiver spastically. Despite Niall's effort to keep me warm by layering countless layers of his personal body heat on my back, I was freezing. The window, once again was open. The harsh Chicago air was like a knife, once it hit you, it hurt. My skin had turned a pale white, my lips were chattering, and I locked my eyes shut. Niall, however, was nuzzled against me sleeping like a baby.

I glanced over at the digital clock on the nightstand. 1:31 am. I've only gotten staggered amounts of sleep. My eyes jsut flutter open after forcing them shut. I just can't seem to let my mind go to rest. I've been having a hard time taking my mind off everything that happened.

Although the hours were passing, I still feel like the worst person on planet Earth. What I did to Dylan.. the pain and suffering I must've caused him. I mean.. the army. Hundreds of thousands venture out there, but only few come back alive. Actually, few come back at all. Dylan is about to go put his life right up against a thousand tanks. And why? Because I, Gretchen Bridges- the love of his life- completely ditched him and rejected him. And why's THAT? Well.. I fell in love with a lovely boy named Harry Styles.

The guilt began to eat me. I haven't spoken a word to Harry for what feels like ages; though only a few hours. Ever since I got the news. I been pouring my bitching and sobs onto my best buddy, Niall Horan. I genuinely would go rant to Zoe, but she's having such a good time- I don't want to spoil anything for her.

My heart sank into my shivering body. I let a tear stream from my burning eyes. It stung my frozen cheeks, and trickled down to the corner of my lips, piercing my blue lips.

I want to talk to Harry. I know that he knows that this is kinda his fault. He and I. It's both our faults.. except.. he was the one who truly ticked off Dylan. The one who set him off the ground, and setting him into full rage mode.

But I love Harry. I truly, truly love him. But right now, I almost feel like I can't. I need to talk to him. Let out alla the crying, the screaming, the ranting.. everything. I want it all to pour out. I want him to tell me that he was wrong. That Dylan will come back. That everything will be fine. But that'd be a lie. I want him to tell me that I should forgive him; that he's sorry for all that's happened. It's so unrealistic though. Because I know I have to face the facts- I was a bitchy friend aynd completely left him in the dust.

But these boys. They urged me to continue rejecting him.. when to be honest.. I would've run crawling back into his wrath. I would've gone running on along. Answering his calls, texting him repeatedly, video chatting him.. instead- I did none. I did the complete opposite. If it weren't for all of these boys, I'd probably be begging Dylan to forgive me for all that I'd done. For all that Harry had done.

Despite all these scary, ill-willed feelings, I wanted Harry to wrap his arms around me. Hold me tight and press endless kisses to me cheeks, and to my lips. I just wanted him all over me. No matter how wrong that sounds.

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