Endless Desire - Is it love? Colin Fan Fic #1

Chapter 21

“No.” his mouth alarmingly close to my ear, I feel his cheek brush it.

I drag my hand through my hair and turn around,  his free hand cups my cheek and he wipes a tear away. “Just let me go.”

“No.” His divine blue eyes cutting into mine, I look away, the pain from my heartbreak must be visible in them.

“For fucks sakes Colin,  I don't know what you want from me! I'm trying to be here for you,  but you shut down and shut me out.”

His eyes soften,  reflective like the river on a calm sunny day.  “I'm sorry.” My eyes fly back to his face,  and I sag against the door.  “I didn't realize I was doing anything.” He runs the hand that was holding the door closed through his hair.  I could easily leave now,  but his eyes beg that I don't. 

“I was trying to figure out what Matt was telling me.  He said you were hurting,  but every time I saw you,  you were fine.  You were you, just a quiet version, which should of been an indication," he winks,  "but I thought nothing was wrong. This whole couple thing is still new to me,  I still forget I'm apart of a unit,  no longer alone with my thoughts. ” I look away,  he shifts his hand, catching my chin and moves my face back to his. 

“One of our first stops is a talk show next week.  They wanted me to have a new song,  not necessary,  but they wanted it if possible.”

Fuck, now I feel like royal shit, I know how much work goes into composing lyrics,  then the music and blending it.  “I've been hitting the studio before work. And really,  with me taking more time off Ryan has my balls in a vise.” His lips curl upwards slightly, I hang my head ashamed. He smooth’s my hair,  and I close my eyes.  “I didn't want to push you away,  hell kitten,  you've been my muse.”

I open my eyes slowly,  the pain in his knocks me down further.  He slides a hand on my side “Let me make up what I can to you….”

Before I have time to respond his mouth cascades onto mine,  slowly,  manipulating my lips while he holds me tight like I'm a wisp that will escape his grasp, waiting for permission.

He pulls me closer, trying to break through to me,  his hand loosens then slides up my back,  I sigh and finally let myself go, surrendering to him.  He reacts immediately,  I feel a smile on his lips and he pulls back from me, his eyes deep and filled with emotion. “Can you forgive me?”

“Only if you can forgive me for being an utter bitch.” He laughs and smiles “Done!”

I cuddle into his chest inhaling his smell with each breath,  he holds me tight between him and the door. 

“What do you think about going out for dinner? It's Friday night.”

I shake my head “Why don't we order in, watch a movie or play some music together?”

He smiles a genuine smile and tosses me the take out binder we have created over the last few months. 

“You chose,  I buy.” I laugh.  We settle on sushi from our favorite place,  and I pull out one of our bottles of wine, we sit and I ask him about the plans.

“Ok,  so Wednesday,  we start with the talk show here in New York, then we have autographs to sign in Manhattan as a band at a record store,  Thursday we are traveling for an album signing on Thursday night in Georgia for my album,  Friday the whole band is expected for the signing of the band album signing,  as well as a whole Peach festival,  Saturday is a rest day,  Sunday and Monday I have interviews in Florida for satellite radio and local stations, the band is expected for Sundays meetings.  Tuesday is a rest and travel day,  Wednesday I'm doing 4 interviews for radio and local radio in Maine.  And that's just the start of it.”