The Gambler, the Thief, and the Black-market Boss

Chapter Three: How to Write Random Stuff!

Sasuke was eating a tomato. He had a picnic basket next to him, also presumably filled with tomatoes.

For some reason, Kakashi found it fascinating to just sit there in his tree and watch them.

Finally, deciding that he had probably kept them waiting long enough, he made himself known.

Jumping out of his tree and landing in front of them, he said, "Hello my cute little students! Shall we get started?"

None of them moved an inch. Naruto kept shuffling his cards, Sasuke kept eating (except he now had an onigiri in his hands), and Sakura was just sort of...there.

Kakashi's smile didn't move an inch, either. "I know this isn't a genjutsu," he said cheerfully, "so I'm going to continue with my normal speech! You have until noon to get these bells!" He held up two bells. "Whoever doesn't have a bell by noon will be sent back to the Academy. Now, let's get started, shall we?" He got no response. "Begin!"

Again, no one did anything. For a solid ten minutes, the only sounds made were of Naruto's cards and muttering, Sasuke's chewing, and Kakashi's occasional comment on whether or not they would do anything. Eventually, Kakashi just lets out a sigh and sat on the ground. Now he really regretted leaving him I have I have at home.

He poked Sasuke. "Hey, Ducky? Can I have an onigiri?"

Sasuke, still staring straight ahead, handed Kakashi an onigiri.

There was once again a silence. Then, so suddenly that Kakashi was almost surprised, Naruto asked, "How old are you?"

Kakashi was about to answer when Sasuke said, "I'm three months older than you."

Naruto snorted. "You're old."

"Sakura's older than I am."

"She's not the one who drinks milk every day."

"Babies drink milk, not old people."

"That's not exactly much better," Naruto pointed out.

Kakashi only half-listened to the conversation, as he was enjoying his onigiri way too much (what? It tasted homemade! He couldn't remember the last time he had something home cooked!).

Finally, Sasuke let out an irritated sigh. "Are you done yet, Sakura?"

"I've been done for the last fifteen minutes," Sakura said, sitting up and stretching.

"Why didn't you say anything?!"

"Because I didn't want to~"

Sasuke growled.

All was fine for a second. Then Sakura, quicker than Kakashi thought was possible for a not-even-Genin, ran up to him and slashed at his neck with a kunai.

Kakashi was faster, though. He was already ten feet away, ready in a defensive stance, Sakura's kunai in his hands, still chewing his onigiri.

The bells hanging from his hips rang softly in the breeze.

Sakura scowled slightly. "Ugh. I had hoped that I could catch you unaware."

"Not for a while," Kakashi said, still smiling. "That was pretty good, though."

"'Good' isn't good enough. Now, Naruto!"

Naruto was now also on his feet. He threw three playing cards at Kakashi like they were shuriken. At first, Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Then, he saw something.

All cards have a design on their backs. Something was hidden on the backs of these cards, though. Seals. Explosion seals.

Quickly doing a Kawarimi (somewhere, a tree fell as it was suddenly missing a portion of its bottom), Kakashi was gone.