High school senior Jess Smith meets Ace of Spades, an online friend who helps her question her mask of celibacy and recognize her true asexuality. Except that their friendship begins to develop into something more.
[Featured April and May 2020 under...
My heart pounded as I waited for Ace to respond. They didn't answer right away like they normally did.
Oh, no! I said too much!
I sighed with relief when they sent me an encouraging reply.
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With a pang of guilt, I realized Ace was right about sexism. I'd assumed that asexuality and a purple font meant that he was probably female. After hearing all the guys talking in the halls at school, it had never occurred to me that a man wouldn't want to have sex.
Ace gently steered the conversation back towards me. I told him about my issues with Nicky and my conundrum about prom. The entire time he politely listened, asking me questions and expressing disdain about her behavior.
One of his questions caught me off guard, though. Ace asked me how my perfect prom night would go. I sat there staring at the screen for a while before I typed a vague response.
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If it was normal to experience attraction without it being sexual, how should I categorize my own attraction to men? How could I tell the difference between sexual and romantic attraction? Why did I get all warm and flustered thinking about a guy I liked if I was asexual?
I didn't even realize that there were different levels of attraction towards guys. Sure, I knew there was platonic love, familial love, and eros. But that didn't explain why a man could make me weak in the knees without making me want to have sex.
Why the hell didn't they teach you important stuff like this in school instead of how to find the area of a damned triangle?
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