Step Sister (Camren)

(3) Shut It Down

"I was just thanking you to acknowledge the changes in me. And it was on the cheek just like 9 months ago." she said cutting me.

"Yeah? Since when you started giving me thanking kisses? And 9 months ago it was a goodbye kiss. You did it and left. Ugh... You don't even know what happened after that." I asked.

She sat their with her head down and again silence took over. As I sat on the couch with my hands in on my face.

"Camila, I am sorry." She broke the silence which was for I don't know how long. I sensed the movement in the room before she sat next to me. "I didn't mean when I said you just make me feel sick. I- umm… I feel - yeah- I mean I feel things when I am with you."

I met her eyes. I was shocked. I stood up from couch but never broke our eye contact.

"Lauren! I  thought you were moving on from me. Oh wait, I thought you were moved on from me. And moments before I was reasoning why was it good for you to stay like that without me. I thought you were happy without me. And I finally totally accepted that and after all these years you have chosen now to be the moment to share what you feel about me. Oh my god, Lauren I can't believe you." I yelled at her but not that loud which could wake my mom up.

"I just wanted to thank you… for still caring for me when I Ha no choice because of my responsibility to protect you. But now I want to open up to you fully." she said with apologizing eyes.

I let out a sarcastic laugh after hearing what she said. "Lauren that was fucking years ago. Why now? When I finally found a boy I want to commit to."

"Camila, I just thought you deserved to know. That's not what I feel like I said earlier. I didn't wanted to hurt you from something that is a lie." she said giving her reason.

I sat down again on the couch beside her.

"Laur, in that moment I already knew you didn't mean that. It did hurt because words hurt but not as much you declaring your feelings out of nowhere because I thought I could finally move on too." I said shaking my head side to side.

"Finally? What's that supposed to mean?" I kept shaking my head. She still hasn't figured out fully. But I can't put myself back into that till she figures own her own.

"Tell something honestly?" I said and she nodded.

"Do you have feelings for me?" I said and she nodded again.

"Will you speak up?" I asked her.

"I always had" she said.

"Ok... If it wasn't your family situation would you want that I was yours and only yours?"

"More than anything" she said with passion in her eyes.

"And did you feel jealous when Mag was on my bedbtoday when you came into my room?"

She let out a chuckle before speaking "Hell nah. I didn't feel anything towards him. And that threatening thing was important it was no jealousy.  I can't be jealous of a boy. No one plays with your heart."

"She definitely can't after that" I murmured to my self before speaking to her. "You don't feel anything for me Laur" I said with a sigh.

"What? I definitely do have-"

"Then why don't you feel jealous, every normal person who has feeling for another person would feel jealousy towards their boyfriend or girlfriend and let alone if they let out their feelings to them, they should be overloading with jealousy. But it's not the case with you." I said and saw confused look on her face.

"Tell me the reason why is that and till you give me the answer you will do what you are expert at. Suppress what you feel for me. No outbursts. You won't speak about them till the time I ask you to. Once you give me the answer, you are free to express them or show them towards me even if I am taken or single."

I stood up, never breaking our eyes contact and sat on her lap, facing her and strangling her legs between mine. I knew if I do this how it will effect her. But I have to try it, may be, just may be what I am thinking could be true. Our parents are divorced according to the place, from where she came and because of that we aren't step-sisters. I have to try it.

So, I moved my face closer to hers before connecting our lips softly. She stiffened for a second but then reciprocated the kiss. Her hands slowly moved up and down my body and she started putting pressure on my lower lip and the kisses were turning into greedy need. I slowly pulled away and stared at her eyes, controling my breath. I was right, she never pushed me nor she was breathing like she is gonna die, though she is panting. I knew she was thinking the same. But that was not I wanted.

"I know. But that doesn't solve anything. You have to answer the question, before you say anything else about us or your feelings towards me. Till then act like this night never happened. I know you can find it Laur, because I know you have feelings for me."

I didn't wait a second, cause if I didn't get away she would end up in my bed again. I stood up from her lap, took her hand in mine, dropped her off outside my room and locked my door.

I hope she takes the right decision and understands the situation soon. I want her more than anything but I can also wait for her forever.