Out of Focus |finished|

3- speeches and wails

8 Days Later

Everyone was in black except Malachi. He was in white shirt with black stipes running through it. Elder would hate the bland colours at his funeral. He would hate it but probably not do anything about it.

The official autopsy report had been released almost a week now and a doctor had come on tv to say that his best friend died of an unknown drug overdose.

The camera Elder used all the time was hanging on his shoulder as they stood outside the church, waiting for the pastor to ask them to come in. Most of them had formed groups and were chatting soberly amongst themselves and Malachi could see Mrs. Benson huddled against her husband.

He would occasionally snap a photo of the people and each time the shutter clicked, it resonated and drew attention to him. This was a hobby of Elder's and he felt he owed him or rather his camera the chance to capture the solemn moments of the people who came to bid him goodbye. And it did help take his mind off things.

A few minutes later, Simi sat beside him, a few pews behind the Bensons, after they processed into the church to hold the memorial service for Elder. One of his hands held hers and Malachi kept glancing over to where Elder's family sat. They were on the first pew; Elder's father, mother and elder sister and younger brother.

The sobs of Elder's mother could be heard echoing quietly in the congregation and Malachi wished that he was anywhere but where he was at the moment.
Because being there meant Elder was really gone. That he wouldn't wake up at dawn to see his best friend developing photos he had taken. Elder wouldn't nag him to clean his side of their room and take a bath as soon as he woke up.
It was amazing how the little things he took for granted were now the things that he missed the most.

"Kai." Simi nudged him with her elbow.

"Yeah?" his mind was far away from the service.

"The Pastor called you to say something about Elder." Simi gestured to the podium where the man of God stood, watching them.

"Sorry my mind was somewhere else."

He straightened his pants, got up and moved towards the podium. The Pastor greeted him with both hands and a smile and stepped aside giving the mic to Malachi.
I can do this. I can do this, he muttered under his breath.
If only his hands would get the memo and stop shaking.

"Hello. My name is Malachi." He said through the microphone and hoped that his voice didn't sound as shaky as his body did. There was an almost eerie silence and all eyes were on him, even Mrs. Benson's.

Simi smiled and nodded at him in encouragement and he smiled back. She had been so strong. Malachi had thought she would be sobbing uncontrollably; she had always been emotional. And she'd liked Elder since forever.

"Elder or Benson as I always called him was my closest friend. Anyone who knew Elder from afar would think he was weird and that would have been true. He was weird and annoying sometimes. There were days we would literally argue through the night and in the morning I'd feel like punching his teeth out. But one thing was for sure, he always had my back. If you had Elder's loyalty, there was nothing he wouldn't do for you. I keep trying see my life without him and –"

A wail reverberated through the church. Elder's mother was uncontrollably crying while her husband was trying remind her that there were a lot of people present.
Just seeing Mrs. Benson brought fresh tears to his eyes. It was a stark reminder that his best friend, his brother was never going to be around again.
I can't do this. I can't do this.

He scanned through the crowds and saw a few of his classmates and some people he knew from Elder's neighbourhood. His mother wasn't present because she was overseas and Malachi hadn't told her.

Malachi's eyes fell on Julia, Elder's sister. A tear fell down her eye as she stared at him.
Malachi composed himself and continued,
"Elder was always taking photos because he saw beauty in everything and everyone. Maybe that was his weakness because I thought it always made him gullible. Elder was –,"

A memory of the three of them; he, Simi and Elder flashed in his mind. Just the three of them walking back to their hostel and talking about random stuff. Malachi suddenly felt like falling his knees and sobbing all the memories out of him.

"I'm sorry but I can't do this."

He let go of the microphone and moved down to the pews. Elder's mother got and pulled him into a tight hug, the hug was suffocating him and Elder's sister, Julia pulled her mother gently from Malachi.

Malachi walked past Simi, very sure that the entire congregation was watching him and out of the church. He sat down at the stairs leading to the road and waited for the service to end.

An hour later, they were all at the Bensons having refreshments. Malachi stood with Simi watching all the people conversing with each other. Julia, Elder's sister appeared beside them.

"Funny how most of them thought Elder was weird but still came here right?"

"Probably because your mother knows almost everyone in this neighborhood," Malachi said and sipped the Can Coke he was holding.

"True. You guys do know that Elder didn't overdose or kill himself right?"

"What?" Simi's head flipped towards Julia.

"I know Elder and even if he wanted to kill himself, he wouldn't do it that way."

"Please stop this right now. Kai, please tell her to stop," Simi was teary eyed already and clutching Malachi's arm tightly.

"She's right Simi. Elder would never kill himself. Something is going on and I think what it is."
Malachi said, staring at Julia.