~ Chapter 1: Part 4 ~

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I quickly dashed upstairs to avoid the dust and ran straight into my room. I opened the door to the attic, stepped in and shut the door behind. Sometimes I truly hate my nose.

I took a look around my new bedroom and it had a gloomy, dull feel to it. There was a huge window on top of the bed and one facing the right neighbor's house.

My suitcases were placed next to the dresser, I walked over to them and started to unpack. The rest of the stuff is currently in the progress of getting cargo over here.

I started to hang up my shirts, dresses, and jackets. Then I folded my pants, pajamas, tights and placed them into some drawers. I also threw in my undergarments into a drawer as well.

After I had placed all my clothes, I pulled out a few of my posters and stuck them onto the wall where the dresser was. I had a poster of P!ATD, Stranger Things, Pewdiepie, and some other game posters. Then I pulled out my nail polish, combs, brushes, contact lens, and jewelry which I used to decorate the top of my dresser.

I planned on hanging some lights on the dresser mirror as well as the door. Also, some cloud lights that I had made in the previous house we were living in. I went to the corner of the room and looked at it from an angle.

It looked better, and kept my mind off of the pain and sorrow I was feeling. I fixed up and decorated a few more things. I could notice the change in the room it definitely lit up. I slowly walked over to the window and looked out of the faded white curtains. I couldn't see anyone or anything so I went back.

I didn't have much to do, so I fell onto my bed and watched the stars above me.

I remembered that one time when I was 6 or 7 my mother had brought me out to a park at night. She was carrying a picnic basket and a telescope as she held my hand and brought me to this lovely spot under a huge tree next to a lake. She had placed the picnic blanket and basket onto the ground, then led me towards the lake.

I stood in front of the lake and looked at my reflection from the water. I still remember the exact words my mother said when I asked about the moonlight shining on the water.

She held onto my shoulder and got down to my level. She looked into my eyes and smiled. She said "Honey, the moonlight shines so it can light the way for the fishes at night. Just like the way the moonlight brings a sparkle in your eyes". She hugged me tight as I rested my head on her shoulder, her scent, was different, it was one I could still smell.

There I laid on the bed staring out into the stars. I wanted to clear my mind but didn't think it was possible. So I converted my mind to another topic, school.

I was and still am worried about school. I can't process the fact that I'm moving to a new school, also that I left all of my great friends behind, and that I definitely wouldn't fit in.

To be honest, I don't care about not fitting in, but new schools aren't my thing... I'm an introvert, though I'm also social, but making new friends takes time for me. Plus if people know about what happened in the few months, I would get a lot of sympathy nd no reality.

As in my friendships would all be fake and that they are only hanging out with me because they feel sad for me..
Which I can't stand. It was 1:30 a.m and my eyes started to feel heavier by the second.

I missed my old friends a lot, and still do even though they knew the truth they treated me the same way. I wish I find someone like them here, I wish I could get to see my old friends once again. My last goodbye wasn't a goodbye... They didn't know I was leaving and my dad gave me no time to tell them. I felt guilty when I left, but I just wanna make things right because they were the best friends I could possibly ever have!

I wish life was easier but it's not... My eyelids started to feel heavier, so I pulled over the covers and snuggled into my bed.

I was afraid I'd get the nightmare again so plugged in my earphones and played some music. As the music scurried through my brain my eyes lids had closed shut...

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