Chronicles of a Fat Teenager - Chapter Twelve

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Beth, Jessica and Miles ate their lunches together outside on the benches. They chose a bench under a tree, away from the main area so they could chat in peace. Beth ate her lunch slowly, taking stock of how alien it was for her to be eating her sandwiches with other people in school. She listened intently to Miles talking about rugby practice and Jessica expertly questioning him about the rules of rugby. Beth studied how her new friend instinctively knew how to speak to boys, to show an interest in their pursuits and to carefully ask questions that enabled the boy to demonstrate his superiority in a particular subject, pandering to his ego. Miles responded differently, however. He asked more questions of Jessica than she was clearly used to and Beth watched as Jessica responded to each of his questions slowly, considering her responses before replying.

He asked about her change in social group and gently quizzed her about her apparent sudden change of heart regarding the company she kept. Jessica explained how over the last year or so, she had begun to question her values. Her mother, as a church warden had been attending Bible Study sessions and she had actively discussed moral dilemmas and social attitudes at the dinner table each night. This had prompted Jessica to reflect on her own life, just as her mother embarked on one of her own. She said she couldn’t escape the fact that she had found herself wanting and this concerned her.

“So, you found religion?” Miles asked innocently, no hint of judgment or hostility in his tone.

“No, I’m not a Bible basher or anything.” Jess explained, laughing, “ My parents are Christians and I sometimes go to church with them, but mum really got me thinking about what I was doing with my life.  The more time I was thinking about these things, the more perspective it gave me about the social group I was very much part of and it worried me that they defined my character as well as dictated the circles I socialized in. The Clones almost operate like a freaky cult!”

“You need more money to join the Clones that Scientologists.”  Miles joked.

Jessica kept trying to involve Beth in the conversation, generously adding, “What do you think, B?” into the conversation. But Beth was just deliriously happy to be listening to their conversation, understanding the pair of them so much more and without a toilet door or her own fears as a barrier.

“You OK?” Miles asked, rubbing the back of her hand. Beth instantly felt a little electricity travel up her arm from his touch.

She smiled warmly at him, nodding. “I’m fine, why?”

“You’re just, well … quiet.” He asked, concern in his voice. Jessica was doing a terrible job of trying to distance herself from them to give them privacy, taking an unusual interest in the ingredients list on the back of her drinks bottle.

“I’m fine, I’m just … well, happy. Really … happy. I’m just not used to it, that’s all. Yes, I am still worried about what’s going to happen to me after this morning’s rant at the Clones, but apart from that, I’m just happy to sit here listening to you to chat.”

Beth looked over to Jess who briefly looked up, smiled and then began studying the bottle contents again.

“Jess, you know that appointment you have this week? When is it?”

Jessica immediately knew to what Beth was referring by the inflection in her voice. Her eyes darted over to Miles who was taking no notice of them and was tucking into his lunch, taking advantage of not being engaged in conversation to finish his food.

“Tomorrow evening, my folks are coming with me. Will tell you about it later?” Jess asked.

Beth nodded and the two of them started chatting about the singing competition looming in a couple of weeks. With only a few more practices, they were all getting a little fraught, worsened by the knowledge that St Anne’s had never sent a group to sing at the County Competition before. 

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