how not to - sequel to baby bellinger // corey seager

part six

 I hated this, I really did. I didn't want to sit down and talk about my troubled past for an hour straight. Corey wasn't even allowed to sit next to me; he had to sit on an armchair diagonal from the couch where I was sitting.

This doctor wasn't as hardcore as Dr. Charik. Dr. Wilson was soft and wanted to talk about all these gushy feelings instead of discussing the root of the problem. I didn't know if I liked that more or not yet. So far though, I don't think I did.

I don't even think that I liked her. The things she said were honestly quite dumb. It made me question where she actually got her degree

"When your mom left, how did that make you feel in that moment?"

I look at Corey and raise my eyebrows, holding back the urge to roll my eyes. He chuckled because he knew exactly what I was thinking.

"I was six when it happened," I say, not being able to hide the tone of annoyance in my voice.

"How did it make you feel as you grew?"

I look away, this was a more logical question, but that doesn't mean that I wanted to answer it.

I turn my head away from the wall and back towards Dr. Wilson, pursing my lips in concentration. "Lost, I guess. I grew up in a house with boys, but they had no problem talking about girl stuff with me, so it wasn't that bad, but sometimes I would wonder what it'd be if my mom were there."

"What kind of support system did you get from your dad and your brother while growing up? Was it any good?"

Was she serious right now? "My support system was amazing, and I wouldn't change it at all."

"Do you have any resentment towards your dad for being the reason your mom left?"

My mouth drops and I look at Corey who was wearing a similar expression. I got up, grabbing my bag and motioning for Corey to do the same.

She had been pushing my buttons for a while, but that was my breaking point.

I look at Dr. Wilson, my eye narrowed and my voice dangerously low in volume. "My mother was an alcoholic who cheated on my dad and killed my baby brother. She left because she was selfish and wanted nothing to do with Cody and me. The only resentment I feel towards anyone is to her because she hurt my family."

I don't wait for her response. I grab Corey's hand and pull him out of the room, not stopping until we get to his truck.

I put my hand on my stomach, leaning against the truck and taking a deep breath.

Corey was quick to stand next to me, grabbing my hand and resting his body on the car parked a foot away from us.

I look up and stare dead straight into his deep blue eyes, "I am not going back to that place."

He nods, "Okay, I understand. We can find another therapist."

I shake my head and roll my eyes, "I mean I'm not going to any more therapists. I did the couples one with you, and that was fine, but I'm not doing any more appointments like that. It's too much for me!" I raise my hand up when I shout out the last part, trying to get my point across to Corey.

His lips separated and he looks away from me. "Why can't you just meet me halfway here, Cloe? This therapy is something you need; it'll help us."

The corners of my mouth raise and I shake my head, not being able to believe what he was saying. "This isn't something I need; this is something you want me to do because a therapist fixing me will make your life easier." Here I was again, accusing him of the same thing, still not knowing if I meant it, but being certain that I wasn't going back ever again. "I don't think you understand the life I'm living and the circumstances it comes with and how I'm dealing with all of it. I think you're used to seeing it, but I don't think you genuinely comprehend what I have going on."

"So help me, Cloe, help me understand!" Corey was getting frustrated and I hate when he's upset.

I look him in the eye again, "I can't, Corey."

"Well, why can't you? Because you keep telling me that I can't support you because I don't understand, but you won't help me help you!"

"I can't because I don't even know how to grasp it myself! I have no idea why I'm broken, but I do know that I've been this way for a long time, and you fell in love with me and picked up all those pieces, and you've been trying your best to put me back together. Why can't you just accept that those pieces don't fit, because I'm not the same puzzle that I was before I met you!" A tear trickled down my eye, but I quickly wiped it away because I was in the middle of making an excellent point and I didn't need my crying to ruin it.

He walked away, obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him back because I wasn't done yet.

I still had more to say, and he was going to listen because we needed to come to some kind of median about this.

"I don't get it, Corey. I was broken when we met, yet you still fell in love with me. You knew the problems I have, and you still loved me, so why can't you accept those flaws anymore?"