Good 'ol Crack book

Baldi x reader

A/N: Issa crack fic
yall better not be horny for some old ass bald man named Baldi ffs
though jus a warning, finna offensive lmfaoo
have fun pussies
Edit: I never continued this for a full year lmfao rip

I wake up to my ugly ass alarm fucking ringing louder than a pornstar moaning, I groan and put an end to it and get up to get ready for my first day of school
I tie my hair in a messy looking bun or whatever kinda haitstyle i like, and wear some hentai shirt and a hella short skirt
"Hey sweaty! don't forget to some actual friends ya fucking mistake!" my mom shouts "Whatever mom bye!" I run outta your house and towards the bus.

Timeskip to idfk what, Im just too lazy to fukin write okay??

I go to my assigned class which is oddly only math classes, fuckign weird ass school, I knew my mom was on crack when throwing my ass into a new school
anyways there are like only 4 students here, what the actual fuck.
I suddenly hear the door open and we see a bald teacher walk in with a long ass ruler, Dude's got a fucking 6 pack and thats the shit thar makes me wanna drop my panties/Boxers at

"Hello and welcome to my class, My name is Baldi and from on, I'll be teaching every one of ya maths" The teacher announced, "yeah no shit, our schedules is a piece of paper with the word "Meth" written with a crayon" I said, "(Y/N) that's one out of three strikes before I put you in detention" Baldi said unhappy, I scoffed and started rolling a blunt, Baldi walks up to my table and gets freaky close, my face suddenly goes red as fuck, jesus christ why am I red, He snatches my perfect blunt, lights it and takes a puff, then throws it away, "strike two" he says as he walks down and writes some weird fucking math equations, I stayed silent for a bit since I dont wanna stay after school with this fucker.

30 minutes later

Some kid looks at me and whispers "Yo, do you know the answer to the question with the weird symbols?", I look up to see 25 with a radical(root? I DONT FUCKIJG KNOW HELP), "Answer's 5" you whisper back "(Y/N)! Strike three, stay after class" Baldi shouts, "This isnt fucking baseball, fuck this" you shout back, you turn to the kid and give him the finger and then slack off for the rest of the class.

End of classtime

I try to get up and mame a run for it but Baldi shut the door, we just ended up having a weird ass staring contest but this also gave me the chance to admire his body too, that really shint bald head with like one strand of hair, his luscious red long ass lips, what the fuck? moving down, I notice that he had a tight ass green shirt, shows his 6 pack in there, he then grabs a paper and starts writting some ugly ass math equations and hands it to me to solve
"A school bus has 4 children and 5 adults, there are a total of 18 people in the bus, how many children are in the bus?"
Shit's easy, Add 4 and 5 which us 9 and then divide 9 with 18, which is 2, Multiply 2 and 4 and bam, 8 children are in the bus
"What's the mode of this set?
(2,2,3,6,1,4,2,1,4,2,6,8)
Answer's 2, jfc these are easy as fuck

"Y̷̲̏̓͛̾͋̚͝͝o̸̧͎̥̗̠̭̐̀͐͛͊́u̶̗͉͈̬̺̇̒̕̚͘ṛ̷̪̘̫̀͆̓̂͋ ̸̦͎̼̱̋͒̎͋̌̀̚͝ͅạ̴̛̯̜͇͙̦̤̠̰̟̈̐̈́̾͊͝ ̸̧̞͙̀͂f̶̛͍̠͋̐̅̀̈̇͌͘ͅų̷̹̪̭̺͓͕́̿͠ͅc̴̛̗̜̺̮͙̽͋̄̌͒̔͒͝k̵̥̰̗̙̏̽į̴͉̪͙̱͓̰̭͔̉͌̚͘͜͝ń̵͎̞͈͈͇̞̤͇̚͜g̵̬͉͙̫̅̀ ̵̠͕͍̯̻̙̀̇͛͐͛̐̇͒ṃ̵̠̰̞͓̖̈́i̸̧̘̇̊̍̏͂́̒͝ś̵̻̺̭͛̽̆̐͊́̌͝ṭ̵̦̗͓͓͌͆́̆͆̃a̴̛̰k̶͕͊̈͆̓̍̅̐͝͝ẽ̵͚̫͕̲̜̬̯̰̌ͅ"

What the fuck was that?? It looks a fucking language that a crackhead probably invented, after all, Baldi did take a fucking puff outta my blunt, but that shit shouldnt have gotten him that high damn.
I just took a really wild guess and put 73, I hand in my work and Baldi starts correcting, I watching intensely, wishing i could stay a bit longer with dude, I don't fucking why but i got this weird shit in my stomtch, my organs are probably having a good party and fucking around, which i wish I were them right now tho, Baldi's face suddenly shifts to a dull angry face, "Last answer is wrong" he says darkly, "sorry I dont speak hieroglyphics" I reply, he gets up from his chair, grab's his ruler and starts smacking it agaisnt his arm, "fuck outta here I'm not into that kinky shit" I say and run outta class, "This dude's out for my fucking blood holy crap im gonna probably nut on that" I run to the exit just to see it disappear, I run to find another exit and see this weird fatass in the hallway, "Give me something or you can't pass" I Spit at his crusty ass hands and make a run for it, I go into some random room and find a free soda, I grab that mf and leave it.
I kept running until i see some fucked up looking hair kid with a skipping rope, she cane to me and shouted an offer to play with her, I nearly piss my pants and just ran faster than a cat, my P.E would be proud.
Finally, an exit
I regret feeling so attracted to my ugly ass teacher and get close to that door, Can't wait to tell mom this shit while she's high, suddenly Baldi appears and smacks me hard as fuc-

I jerk up from my bed and look at the time, 12:21 am
What a weird fucking dream was that.

A/N: Bad grammar, I know
I have no one to correct for me but this makes it even better i guess? lmfao, I finally made this ugly ass fanfic and now am rid of it

Catch yall next time Muah