Orders and Wonders - Connor/Kara Fanfiction

Decision

Suddenly, when Alice called out her name again, he felt her head move from under his chin. Her pupils grew larger momentarily before returning back to their tiny size again. Connor turned to the anguished child hurriedly. "Alice! I need you to keep speaking to Kara. Can you do that for me?" He ended his question with tenderness and the child nodded in response. 

"Kara! Kara, wake up! Why won't you talk to me?" The child was touching Kara's neck now and Connor kept his eyes transfixed on the deviant's pale face. Her eyes had moved now and she had blinked once. And then a few more times, before she gasped loudly, her body jerking forward and tears escaping her eyes. Connor instantly felt her anguish when her memories began to infiltrate his mind. The abuse of Todd, being reset by Zlatko and finally the two humans who had nearly raped her just minutes before - he almost choked at the last memory and pulled his hand away from her arm where he had unintentionally begun the probing process. 

His fists clenched angrily, his brown eyes dark with fury as he moved to his corner of the seat when the deviant became hyperaware of her surroundings. She had turned around and begun to comfort Alice as if nothing had been wrong just minutes earlier. He glared at the road in front with trepidation for the fate of the two people who had changed his entire perspective on 'life'. Connor had decided that he would let them go and go back to Hank and report his failure. They would pick up another deviant case and he would forget about this blue-eyed deviant. But after seeing all of its memories - how could he walk away? No doubt, she wanted nothing to do with him, but could he let her continue on this perilous journey all alone when anything could happen to her? How could he go back and even focus on anything knowing that somewhere she was out running for her life?

"You saved us," Kara stated, calmly turning to face him again when Alice had been mollified. She watched as he turned to face her with almost black eyes - and so much despondency in them as if his heart was being pulled in two opposite directions. Kara didn't look away afraid that any minute he would return to his mechanical self and she would begin to despise him again. ". . . why did you save me? Why are you helping us?" 

There it was. The question that Connor had dreaded that she may one day ask him. He wished that time could have continued on and this question would not be raised between them. He would continue on this wave that would take him wherever it went. And he was content to go with it, excited at the prospect of discovering new emotions. But that would be classified as him being a deviant. Only a deviant would throw away his duties, betray his companions and walk away. But once the word 'deviant' had been something he had felt disgusted to associate himself with and now it had earned his sympathy. Kara had been made a deviant because she had been victimized. It had not been a choice, but a path of life that had become her last resort.

He turned to face her, his eyes no longer able to hold hers like before. "I . . . I do not know." He whispered, looking towards the dark road again. 

He was so lost. He could go back to Hank and continue on solving cases as was expected of him, but he wouldn't be content. Or he could choose to stay with Kara and Alice where he would experience what it meant to be alive, but they had no reason to accept him. He had done so wrong to them. Kara and the child could've been killed on that highway, his reckless action of killing Zlatko had sent his loyal, murderous android after them and then she had risked her life to run from him injuring herself from the hill. He almost had an urge to put his head in his hands and hide from her probing blue eyes. She didn't deserve the anguish he had inflicted upon her.

"When you killed . . . Zlatko," A tranquil voice gently whispered in the silence wrapping around him like a warm blanket. He looked up with a start when he realized it was Kara speaking and that she had never spoken to him in that tone before. It had seemed reserved only for Alice. ". . . when you killed Zlatko next to that machine, I . . . remembered what I had lost. I remembered Alice again. It was like being pulled from the darkness into the light." 

The android's jaw dropped at the imagery she presented and how close it struck home. Earlier on, he had been pulled out of the darkness by her presence. But in all the minuscule possibilities he could have analyzed, never would he had imagined hearing the exact same words from her mouth. His thirium felt excessively warm in the stuffy taxi, but for the first time, he embraced the pleasing feeling. Here he had been distraught at the magnitude of her pain caused by his actions and there she was telling him how he had saved her. 

She continued on unaware at how her words had become his lifeline. He listened intently, hanging on to every last word that came from her lips and slowly all his doubts began to drain away. And when she whispered her final words, his mind was swept clean from all the doubts and skepticism.  

"Thank you, Connor." He had closed his eyes at the sound of his name and felt absolute bliss envelop him. She continued on hesitantly. "Even if it was unintentional . . . thank you. For bringing me back to Alice. For setting me free again." 

With renewed energy, Connor faced her with a bright smile, eliciting a small involuntary gasp from her lips, but she had no time to brace herself for what he did next. Grabbing her small palm, he pulled her into a tight embrace. She could not stop the yelp that escaped her lips when her nose slammed into his neck and before she could begin to move, he held her so tight to him. All she could see was the grey of his blazer and feel the rapid pounding of his heart. She was sure her own heart was probably just as fast and the thirium in her system was extremely warm. It was not uncomfortable, only confusing and when he let out a breath next to her ear, the same warmth erupted to her face.

And then he gently whispered in her ear, sending small sparks across her skin. "No . . . thank you Kara. Because of you, I now know what it is that I have to do." 

Author's Note: This chapter would have been published earlier, but I absolutely had to watch the E3. I hope you all did too and what games are you most looking forward to? For me, it is Assassin's Creed Odyssey and Ghost of Tsushima. Also, Luther is not evil - he is just heavily misunderstood by Connor, Kara and Alice, but we all know how lovely he is. Just putting it out there that I love Luther, but I couldn't allow him to be with Kara and Alice on this journey just yet. :D Thanks for reading and have a great day wherever you are! <3