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September 2008
I rocked Juju to sleep hearing the tunes of Marvin Gaye drowning out Mama's gut wrenching screaming. Juju had cried herself to sleep and it was just me at this point. I think Mama finally screamed herself to death. I heard snorted and saw Christian towering in front of the door of my room. His shirt grey and ripped with little blood specks on his shirt while dribble dripped down his chin.
"Hey lil pocita paradise," He said sleezily. I laid Juju down on her bed and walked out the room locking my door.
I walked into the kitchen and prayed to God I didn't have to hear his bullshit today. I felt his hand graze my bottom before squeezing it at the same time that he wrapped his arm around my throat. I let a tear drop down my face giving up a fight I had been battling since I was 12.
"Finally," He sighed relieving himself.
He pulled my miniskirt down and bent me over the stove. I let my mind wonder to another place. I thought about my sister then to cope with what was happening inside of me I thought about someone else. I searched my mind for someone attractive to me. Mario? Nah he's too sappy. 50 cent? He's ugly. Chris Brown.... Yeah.
I imagined Chris Brown and the feeling of dirtiness left my mind. But I knew he was Christian .... The thought wouldn't leave and I broke down. He let himself rush out onto my back and let out a cold laugh that brought me chills.
"Damn you good," He smiled.
I nodded brushing my hair out my face and looking at my dirty white converse. I shook from what I went through and did. He zipped up his pants and looked at me and dropped his smile. He turned around and opened the cabinet to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of pills.
"What are those?" I questioned
"Something to ease the pain,"He said and chucked them my way before grabbing his jacket and walked out the house.
I swallowed two of the pills then, grabbed my stuff together and put on some sweats and a hoodie and put my hair in a ponytail with my shoes. I grabbed my Jansport backpack and walked out the house to the school. Out of Walnut Creek to the HEB through the overhead to LBJ high school.
I got in and saw little freshman looking optimistic and saw one brown girl. Her hair was braided and she had deep dimples. Her eyes were brown but bright with a bright smile and perfectly crooked teeth that were white. She was medium height but skinny. Not too skinny just the right amount. I introduced myself to this girl.
