Clara (Thomas Shelby Fan Fiction, Peaky Blinders)

ALL THE KING'S HORSES

"Tommy say something please." I begged as I moved closer towards him, he stepped back. "I had to do it or I would go to jail for manslaughter. I could not go back there." I shuddered with disgust I thought back on my time in prison. 

"You were a fucking spy for the crown." Tommy spat and a tear slipped out my eye. I tried to hold them back but I could not. "You wanted to join Peaky Blinders, to tear it down from the inside." Tommy came up with and I shook my head.

"No. I would not do that to you." I stated sternly as I walked up to him. I cupped my hands on his face. "I joined the Peaky Blinders because I want a new life. I am sick of killing people and going undercover." I explained and Tommy shook his head.

"You lied to me." He whispered and I looked into his blue eyes, mine were like a waterfall. 

"Look after Loos, I realised something. I realised how close I was to death. I don't know if I killed something. I could not see. Everyday I think about if I took a son away from a mother, if I took away a father or an uncle or a brother, even. I can't do it anymore." I explained to him and he just took a step back out of my grasp.  I wiped away my tears.

"I can't." He replied in a stern voice and I could not let him walk away. 

"Sit down." I ordered awkwardly as I sat down at the table. Tommy sighed as he sat down opposite me. "I want to be apart of Peaky Blinders. I am going to resign my position." I explained and Tommy shook his head as he smoked his cigarette.

"You said you will go to prison, the coppers will have you." Tommy replied and it was nice to know that he still cared. 

"I will do anything to prove to you that I am your side and if it means me going to jail then I will do it, I will do it for you." I explained with complete honesty. I meant every word. I moved my chair over towards Tommy. "Do you still like me?" I asked genuinely. "The way you did in the car." I muttered, our faces were so close together. We were away to kiss but then he pulled back.

"Clara, I can't." He whispered as I just sighed. "It was already decided that you would join Peaky Blinders." Tommy added and I looked over at him smiling.

"What about us?" I asked him as I held onto his hand, holding it tightly, he looked down at it with no emotion. 

"What about us?" He asked me back before he got up and left. I watched him leave before I sat and cried. This mission was tearing me apart and I lost the one thing I could truly love.

___

"All right, John." Tommy stated as he lit a cigarette. He walked into the Peaky Blinders room in the Garrison. I was pouring everyone drinks and I looked up to see the same stone cold eyes that I fell for. 

"Oh I am sorry. I am just on my way out." I said avoiding eye contact as I made my way around the table. I felt a warm strong hand grasp onto my arm.

"No stay." John said and I nodded my head as I took a seat. Avoiding all eye contact was Thomas. 

"There's only one right..." Tommy began to say and then Arthur offered him a drink, "no." He answered as he puffed his cigarette. "There's only one man guarding the house." Tommy continued, I caring about John turned to face him. 

"What's troubling you?" I asked John with a sweet and caring voice. John face Polly.

"Polly, you know what it's been like since Martha died." John stated and that was his first wife. 

"God takes the best first." Polly replied as she held onto his hands. 

"The truth is, my kids have been running bloody rings around me. Running barefoot with the dogs until all hours." John explained.