Saturnalia (Marilyn Manson short story) ✔

Chapter 9

I silently cry in my bed, with teared up newspaper by my side.
I am so fucked.
Ugly, freak, weak, someone to feel sorry for.
That's what every newspaper says in every fucking article 'Marilyn Mansons girlfriend?'
Plus, my dad has called me.
Mother died. She had leukemia.
She lost her fight. But i don't wanna be like her. I wanna win. And i know i can't do it alone.
Jeordie doesn't know yet. I'll have to tell him.

"Emily, please, open the door! We're both scared! What happend?" says  Brian, banging on the door.
I decide to let him in.
I hop into my wheelchair and go open the door.

He immediately wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his warm hug that i love so much.
"What happend, baby?" he asks again.
"My fucking mother died and that's not all. Everybody hates me. Your fans, the press...i'm not that Hollywood perfect girl..." i cry into his shoulder.

"C'mere." that's everything he says and kisses me into my hair.
"It will be okay, i promise. You should take some sleep, i will tell Jeordie. Then i have to go to recording studio to record next to two songs for our album. But i will hurry up, okay?" he says. I just nod and pull outta his hug.

Then he leaves.
I start actually worrying.
Everyday he has something. Recording, concerts, friends...everynight.
I think...i think he cheates on me.
I don't think that's because he wouldn't love me but...it's really hard to say for me.
Since i'm not able to have that kind of intimate relationship with him.

Like, i'd understand, but it still hurts me.
But what if it's not even true, and it's just my paranoia? He's a rockstar, he has his own business to do.
And i trust him.
I trust that he would talk to me about it first.

There's no exit planet
No emergency room in this tomb
And it's door only opens one way