𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘺 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘳 | ym ✓

5 ⋆

2018

cold rain splashed onto the bumpy ground, creating puddles in the dents of pavements. the cars were loud, beeping their horns every few seconds due to lack of communication and panic from the weather. people scurried past each other, their umbrellas clashing every once in a while when trying to get home as quick as they could.

yoongi didn't understand the logic of these people. it was just a little rain and fog. no big deal. but they overreacted, treating it like there was some sort of crazy tornado warning out.

the calmness in his mind as he sauntered  down the street in just a sleeveless shirt and jeans, was eery. the judging faces of others who passed him by didn't get to him. nothing got to him in that moment. his head was on pause, and it was like everything around him had just frozen. the outside world kept playing, while he felt stuck.

his hair was soaked through, just like his clothes,  looking like rats tails as it found itself matted against his forehead. his clothes became see-through, every bit of skin on the boys upper body being exposed through the fabric of his t shirt. the droplets of water cascaded down his neck to his arms like a stream, or waterfall.

but he didn't care. he ignored the longing of warmth, he ignored that his whole body was shivering from the horrendous weather.

the dull twinge was still there, the invisible pain of heartache that no one else would ever feel. he had nothing to live for anymore, no one to love who actually wanted him.

he stopped in his tracks, only just realising how far he'd walked. this wasn't his town, so where was he? should he have went back by now? probably. but he just couldn't bring himself to travel home again. if he could even call it a home. it was now just a bare house with no meaning. just walls and unnecessary items that didn't uphold a special place in his heart.

home to yoongi was christmas dinner with family; listening to everyone talking while he sat there and fulfilled his role of being the countries best giver of attention. he wasn't much of a talker, anyway. he preferred to use his ears more than his mouth. home was the smell of fresh clothes and coffee beans, mornings waking up to breakfast in bed, oversized jumpers and the pink silky hair that he could ruffle when it looked softer than usual. home was park jimin.

but relationships have problems. some people become overwhelmed, and sometimes things break. some people just aren't right for each other. and sometimes people don't think it's a good time but end up meeting and falling in love all over again a few years down the line. that's life.

yoongi despised life, and love. he could still see the crash as it happened before him. he could still remember every single detail. the crunch was so loud he could've thrown up. the way jimin's smile had been just seconds before. he should have looked both ways when crossing the street, but the silly boy was just too ecstatic to see his lover after a torturous week of no contact.

thankfully he was able to recover, escaping with only a broken arm and some scratches, but yoongi's self hatred had never faded away, instead just lurking in the shadows of his conscience; ready to attack him whenever he already felt bad about himself.

jimin and him would argue, the younger trying to convince him that it wasn't his fault. it was his own for being so careless, but yoongi wasn't to be told. he just knew he could have prevented it if he hadn't just stood there, stupefied. he had enough time to push jimin out the way, but he didn't.

so he became ridden with guilt, holding himself responsible for the fact that he promised himself that he would protect his love from harms way, even if it meant sacrificing himself. he should've been expecting it, though, since nothing ever went to plan in his world.