I Never Planned on You // Davey Jacobs

Sixteen

David's POV

After bringing Les home, I head over to the Lodge, the sun setting fast. The boys had returned to nurse their wounds from the fight and I wanted to make sure everyone was okay. That's what I told myself anyways but I knew who I was really here for.

Walking in, I see the guys spreading out. Some on the beds, some on the floor. Some were playing cards but no one seemed invested in anything. Looking around, I don't see Octavia anywhere. The glum looks on everyone's face and the absence of Octavia worries me, a knot forming at the base of my throat. Spotting Race at one of the tables, I head over to him.

"Race! Where's Oct-uh, Books?" I question.

Taking his cigar out of his mouth, he shares a sympathetic look I don't understand with Specs and Albert. Returning his gaze to me, eyes full of pity, he responds, mouth turned down in a frown. "She's upstairs"

Nodding in thanks and turning away, I start to head towards the stairs but Race stops me. "Davey, wait! She's,uh, She's not in a good place."

Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself as I head upstairs. Cautiously, I open the door, expecting something to be thrown at me but I remain unattacked. Sticking my head in, I notice that the room was empty but, upon closer inspection, I saw the window leading towards to fire escape was open.

A breeze blows in, bringing the scent of the city inside. A shiver runs down my spine not brought on by the breeze. I forced myself to walk to the window, dread filling my footsteps. I was afraid to face her.

Stepping out into the fire escape, the lack of sunlight makes it difficult to see but I spot her sprawled against the wall, one leg straight and one pulled to her chest, staring blankly at nothing. I wait, ready to jump back through the window I came from, for her to say something. To get angry. To show some emotion. Anything but the empty shell in front of me.

"Crutchie's in the Refuge." She says, flatly, after a stretch of silence.

I didn't say anything. There was nothing for me to say. So I stayed quiet. This was painful to look at. She seemed broken. I couldn't help but feel like I had broken her.

"Do you wanna know why I hate the Refuge so much? Why I didn't want Crutchie to take my place?" She spoke again, barely above a whisper, with empty eyes locked ahead, but her voice was almost void of emotion. Bitterness was the only thing that seemed to bring her voice to life.

I didn't want to answer. Afraid that whatever came out of my mouth would be the wrong thing. I wanted to tell her that I didn't mean what I said earlier. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to tell her how I feel. But it wasn't the time. It didn't seem like she was looking for an answer anyways.

"Being forced into the Refuge isn't easy, no matter who you are. But when you're a girl or weak, it's much worse. The boys in there... let's just say that they like to see how far they can push you. How much can you take. And, then, they jump at the chance to take advantage of you." She visibly shudders, pulling her other leg to her chest and wrapping her arms over her knees. My arms itched to reach out and comfort her but I settled for leaving the window to sit down as close as I dared to her. She didn't need me to comfort her. She needed me to listen. So that is what I'll do.

"And the "guards"? They're a joke. The guards are the worst ones. They love to abuse their power. No one is there to protect you. And Snyder does nothing to stop them. Hell, he likes to participate. It's sick. And that's--that's why I never wanted Crutchie in that place. He doesn't deserve it." She sucked in a shuddering breath and let it out, tears brimming in her eyes. Her words made me sick to my stomach. Though she didn't say I knew something in there had happened to her and there was nothing I could do about it.