Merlin: The Depth of Secrets

4- Reality and Dreams

The sky was laced with dark clouds that threatened them from above. Merlin was sitting in a cell with his hands cuffed above him. His wrists hurt but nothing hurt more than Arthur swearing his fate to the pyre. It all happened so fast. He walked into Arthur's room to wake him and suddenly he was grabbed by guards who knocked him out. He awoke in this cell with Arthur outside betraying him towards his fiery doom. Now he somehow transported to outside where he was being tied to the wood by Percival and Gwaine. All of his friends and even Gaisus surrounded the pyre their faces contorted in hatred and disgust, Then Arthur with his kingly crown upon his head threw the torch at the pyre and instantly flames licked at Merlin's heels. He couldn't even scream. He couldn't speak. All he knew was the fear of his friends and of the hurt from their betrayal. He noticed only the tears tracing their way down his cheeks. He couldn't breathe from the smoke. He hoped he would suffocate before he burned. He closed his eyes tight with pain and hurt. 

Then a scene appeared on top of that with Arthur running him through with his sword. And another scene of Freya spitting at him for letting her die in agony. Another of Gwen pushing him off the tower when he revealed his magic to her. All of these things happened at the same time.  

He couldn't breathe the smoke was choking him.

He couldn't feel the ground beneath him as he fell further.

He couldn't stop staring at a torn red dress that he had given Freya.

He couldn't see, his eyes scrunched together in fear, pain, agony, and betrayal.

He couldn't help but laugh and cry at his own stupidity thinking that these people would ever care for him and accept his magic.

Then he woke up... The knights and Arthur were surrounding him. He was in a forest. He was terrified. He shot up and tried to run but slipped on his bedroll and fell down. He could feel more tears tracing their way down his cheeks. He could see his friends eyes wide with surprise as he tried to get away from them. He locked eyes with Arthur who looked so confused and that made him stop breathing for a second. He got up again still to quickly but this time he didn't fall. He turned around and started sprinting away from those who he had called friends. He could barely hear their shouts of shock, surprise, and confusion as he ran from them. His tears were blinding but he didn't stop.  He couldn't tell if they were chasing him or not. But he just wanted them to let him go.  He didn't know what cruelty this was or why he had experienced all of those terrible things and how he was now in the middle of the forest.

He kept running until his legs gave out which actually wasn't to far.Once he stopped he could hear the knights shouting for him to come back and could hear their feet as they got closer. He hid himself behind a large tree and sat with his knees to his chest while trying to muffle himself. 

All he heard when they yelled for him was screams of hatred and distorted voices. He didn't know what he had dreamed and what he hadn't. Maybe he had gone unconscious at the pyre and this was what his mind was thinking.

But either way. This felt real. He was shaking and now silently crying. He could hear the knights still calling for him and they were close enough he could hear their approach. He shoved his hand over his ears. 

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They had all woken up and packed up  most of camp. They had checked on Merlin already so now they all sat around not really doing anything. That's when Merlin started to mumble in his unconsciousness. All of their eyes instantly turned towards the boy who had broken the silence. Percival got up to check on him as he was the most gentle and skilled in medical profession although he wasn't sure what had happened to Merlin.

"You guys should come here..." Percival said quietly after a moment.

So they all got up and sat closer to Merlin.  

What they first thought was sweat was actually tears covering his face. He was starting to shake more violently and his mumbling was frantic and undecipherable. 

Leon broke their silence," Percival, what is happening."

He responded," I'm not exactly sure. But he might be having some sort of nightmare."

Lancelot then asked," Should we wake him up?"

Percival shrugged so Gwaine reached out and shook Merlin's shoulder gently. Yet that seemed to turn out a horrible idea. Merlin shrunk away from the touch even in his sleep and the shaking got even worse. 

Gwaine pulled back his hand quickly with a wide eyed expression on his face. Suddenly the mumbling stopped altogether and it was quiet. Merlin still had tears falling out of his eyes quickly and was still convulsing but the mumbling had stopped. Then with one last completely decipherable sentence," Please, no, I didn't mean to, I.. please." Merlin sat up his eyes wide with fear and perfectly still. It took him no less than a second to let out even more words aimed at those around him . "Go away. Let me be. Please. Please. I .. I' m sorry. Don't. no." And then he stood too quickly and fell back down. All of the knights and Arthur stared at him with wide eyes.

Merlin took one last look at them and bolted. All of them rose suddenly and called out for him  to come back. 

"I'm going after him" Gwaine and Lancelot said at the same time.

And all of the knights and Arthur agreed because they raced after Merlin. 

Merlin was agile and quick on the best of occasions and that helped him now but with his sobbing he stumbled as he ran.