Salvation (Harry Styles)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Roses and daises

Won't do the trick

Lia and I stand in the lunch line, just coming from Drama class. Harry is already sitting at our table, claiming to only want a fruit, and I said he can take mine when I get my plate. It's become a regular thing for Harry to near me now, in Drama class, at lunch ─ even with Christopher sitting at the same table ─ and we will usually walk in and out of school together.    

Even though I know Harry isn't trying to make a big deal out of it, I know he's still stressing over what happened yesterday at my house. In class, his hand held mine, and he subconsciously rubbed circles into my knuckles whilst listening to Mrs. Lawson. I didn't stop him. I had tremors when I woke up this morning.

"Sorry I couldn't make it to your party yesterday," Lia says as we are handed a ham and cheese wrap from the lunch lady. "I had to stay with my gran. But I still feel bad about not getting you a present, so how about we go out to see that new movie playing uptown? On me."

I grab the fruit of the day, a banana, and put it on my plate. "Um, can I give you an answer later? I don't know if my parents have plans or anything, you know."

"That's fine," she says, and we pay for our food and go sit down. It's odd how quiet she is today, but I can't ask her before we're sitting down with Harry and Crystal. I nudge him with my shoulder to make him look up from his phone. He smiles at me and takes the banana from my plate with a 'thank you'.

"You good?" He asks quietly. My lips purse together as I tuck a strain of my red hair behind my ear and tilt my head, giving him a pointed look. "I take that as a yes then," he says under my gaze.

I nod and hum. I love that he cares enough to make sure I'm fine at all hours of the day. I really do. But ever since I was diagnosed with Parkinson's, that's all the doctor's ask me. How are you feeling? Are you okay? Eventually it gets annoying, and some people just don't realise they do it. If I'm not feeling well, they'll either notice, or I'll tell them. But I keep in my annoyance because Harry is new to this.

I'm just glad he's talking to me. After my confession yesterday, I was afraid he'd become distant. That's my greatest concern: that he'll act different around me just because I'm in love with him.

And honestly, if he were to ask me how I knew or when, I wouldn't be able to tell him. The night of his birthday did begin the domino's effect, but the past three weeks was when it really kindled inside on me. I don't think I realised it either, until I was saying it. That's when the world came crashing down on me ─ at least it seemed that way.

I have never felt this kind of love, giving or receiving. Not to my parents, friends, Christopher. I don't know why Harry's different. Or maybe I do. Maybe it's just the fact that's he's different, something so far off than what I use to. The fact that he's able to give me something I never knew I needed, and now I can't get enough of it. That he showed me in the simplest way that the future that was set out before me isn't the one I want.

I don't know his father, but I am damn glad that he pulled Harry out of school, because I don't want to go back to the life I was living.

I'm pulled from my trace by Harry muttering, "Great," sarcastically under his breath. I'm momentarily confused until I hear Christopher calling my name.

"Rae!" He exclaims, sitting between Jamie and Lia, two seats from me. "Happy late birthday, and I'm so, so, so sorry that I couldn't make it to your party. Family gathering, you know."

I force a smile, and use my acting skills to make it seem like I was trying to make it seem like I'm not disappointed. In all honesty, I barely noticed his absence yesterday. I was mainly focused on Harry, or finding the right things to say to the guest. "It's fine, Christopher."