Son of a Rambler.

Chapter 20.

What's done in the dark will find a way to shine. I've done so much that when you see, you might go blind.

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I sit in the nursey rocking chair, moving back and forth as I stare down at my bloodied and split hands. I pick the skin around my manicured nail and let out a long sigh, secretly hating myself for how I reacted today. I feel tears well up in my eyes and one slides down my cheek, falling in my lap.

A soft knock comes from the nursery door and I look up to see Jax standing in the doorway, he must've just gotten in from the clubhouse. He walks over to me and gets on his knees, taking my hands in his and kissing the top of them, ignoring their current condition. I shake my head and continue to cry, "Jax, I can't react like this. I don't know what I've become." My hands begin to shake out of the fear that's pulsing through my veins. "What kind of role model am I if I'm beating women who pose a threat to me?"

Jax shakes his head, tightening his grip on my hands and looking into my eyes. "You're showing that you will protect your family at all costs. Al, you have not turned into anything that's worth being ashamed of. You've grown, you've become a mother, a woman who will protect and help her family." He lets out a soft chuckle, "You're an old lady."

I let out a breath, "I can't seem to get what she said out of my head, Jackson. Why does she have to bring you up? She knows how much it hurts me..." Jax frowns, knowing how difficult it is for me to be dealing with Wendy, and now Tara. "She took you away once, Jax, I can't let it happen again."

"You don't need to worry about that happening, I promise." Another cry comes from my mouth and Jax frowns yet again, his eyes filled with sadness. "Babe come on, you know I'm not going anywhere. You're all that I need, all that I have."

I shake my head, "I know how she is... I know what she's capable of doing, Jax, and she knows exactly how she can win you back. She knows that the boys will fall back into her arms if she shows up around here or if they see her again. She knows exactly what she has to do to absolutely destroy everything I have right now."

Jax stands up, picking me up into his arms and holding me tightly. "You do not need to stress about this anymore, Alexis. It's being taken care of, Tara and Wendy. I can't have you this upset all of the time over these two." I start to cry into his chest as he continues to hold me, "Al, please, just believe me. Nothing will happen. It'll be okay, and I promise you that everything will be taken care of."

I just nod, trying to take a deep breath and relax. "Okay, I believe you." is all that I can muster up the courage to say. I feel weak, I feel awful, and I feel disgusting for the way I acted, regardless of Jax's reassurance.

"How about we put on a movie or run you a bath." Jax suggested, taking my hand and walking me to the bathroom where he starts running the tap for the bath-tub. "The boys will stay with Neeta at mom's place. Just take the afternoon to relax." Jax takes my hands and sets them under the tap, washing the blood from them. He smiles gently at me and kisses the top of my head before grabbing bubble bath and pouring some in the tub. "Get in, babe." He directs me, helping me take off my flannel and jeans. He takes my hand and helps me into the bath, letting me relax into the warm body of water.

I take a deep breath as I settle in the bath, doing my best to relax. I continue to wash away the blood that's on my body, hoping that it'll help reassure me that how I acted was out of protection for my family. "I love you, darlin'." I look up and Jax is smiling down at me, running a hand through my long, dark hair. "I love you so much." He kisses my head once more before standing up, "I have some stuff I have to take care of, but I'll be back tonight with the boys. Sound good?"