Oakland [✓]

35. life

Y'all probably hate me, but how y'all feeling?

I suggest listening to this song and actually listening to the lyrics. Really powerful song.

"Tell me I'll be okay, tell me happier days."

***

I wake up in a cold sweat.

I quickly get up from my bed and rush towards the bathroom as my stomach starts to churn. For the third time tonight, my insides spill into the toilet.

"It's alright baby, let it out," Momma's soft voice enters the atmosphere. She crouches down next to me and starts rubbing soft circles into my back. "It's gonna be okay, baby."

I shake my head, letting the tear fall from my eyes and drip onto the tiled floor. "Stop saying that," I mutter, my voice cracking.

She sighs. "Look at me, Isaiah."

I turn away from the toilet and face her, sliding down onto the floor and bringing my knees to my chest. Momma lifts my head up and wipes the tears from my stained cheeks, she gives me a sad smile.

"The best people always leave too early," she says quietly. "You don't deserve any of this pain baby, but you have to understand that it will pass."

"I watched him die, Momma," I stress. "Every time I close my eyes I see it again, and again, and again."

She places a comforting hand on my knee. "Drake's soul is finally at peace, and even though he's gone, he'll be able to guide you through this."

"We were supposed to go to LA and get away from this. We had two weeks. Two weeks." I say as I attempt to wipe the tears from my cheeks.

Momma sits down in front of me and kisses my forehead. She gives my hand a slight squeeze. "I know, baby. Life isn't fair, but I promise you'll get through this," she gives me a sad smile. "Try to go back to bed okay? It's almost three in the morning."

I shake my head. "What if they call about Amour? I need to know if he's okay."

"He'll be okay Isaiah," Momma puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I promise."

"I don't think I could handle if he...if something happens to him," I confess. "I think my heart would just stop."

"You can't think like that, baby. You just gotta believe that he'll be okay," Momma says softly. "You need to get some sleep, Isaiah."

Momma raises up and extends her hand for me to hold onto. I grab onto her hand and slowly stand up, still feeling slightly nauseous. We make our way to my bedroom, my alarm clock reads "3:45 AM" as my mother helps me back into bed. I lay face up as she kisses my forehead and tucks me in.