Have you ever wondered if Satan was really the bad guy? Well, why not reincarnate him as a normal boy and make him the good guy.. or maybe the bad one? Well.. you've come to the right place to find out.
I walk out through the front door, not even bothering to listen to their calls. I come face to face with Rias' peerage- Issei in front of them and really close to me, they all look confused, Issei is doing a poor attempt at glaring at me -- Issei, if I throw a stick, will you go away? -- He looks at me confused, while the others are silently laughing in the background -- I was trying to insult you.. But I guess it won't do as well as nature did. Get out of my way, you perverted lizard hand. -- Shoving him to the right and into the wall, I leave heaven and sigh -- Man.. I need to retire. There's not a place more peaceful than a bar. Maybe I can become a detective.. Heh.. An evil being helping police? Who's crazy idea was that?
Then I thought.. Stray hunting? Sounds good.. Let's bust a cap into these unlovable fuckers.
I sense a stray right around.. Here! Holy fuck. It's a prostitute. That's actually a good way to lure men without suspicion. Props to that hell's spawn. I walk over her way, pretending not to care about her or anyone around, until she approaches me -- Hey big man.. You looking for some good times? -- I stop and stare at her with a blank face, then go back to walking -- Are you gay or something? -- This bitch..
-- I'm more straight then the pole you dance on. Go eat a bag of dicks, you stray bitch. -- She seems surprised to hear about my knowledge of her being a stray, her surprised face turns into a creepy smirk -- What's with that creepy face? You look like a creepy pedophilic uncle. Fuck outta here with that shit. -- I continue walking until I hear footsteps coming my way, I simply sidestep her and she falls on her face.
She sits up to see the barrel of two beauties.
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-- May God kiss my ass. -- I finish those lines and shoot her, making a nice swiss cheese, I click my tongue -- Nice.
I hear heels clicking behind me, I sigh loudly and holster my two beauties, Adam and Eve. I look behind me and see the one and only.. Sona Sitri, or Souna Shitori.. These devil and human name shit is confusing -- (Y/N), correct? -- I slowly nod -- Could you come with me? Serafall Leviathan would like to speak with you.. She says it's important. -- Leviathan.. Ah, one of the four oh so Great satans..
My answer? Well..
Hell to the no.
I turn around and walk away, humming to the sweet sound of All Star by Smash Mouth.
