𝑷𝑨𝑷𝑰 . | BxB

| Nine | Ego Trip

                         |Nine | Ego Trip (Lessons Pt. 2)

Christian

You were both the drug and the dealer. I find it easier to articulate these words for you while my addiction to your energy breaks. I'm sobering up in shorter terms.

Or I'd like to believe I am. Symptoms of withdrawals still quill my skin, even when I try my best to forget your touch. How lazy of me to get so carelessly personal with you.

Like a fiend with a fiery-itch needing fixing, my actions only fueled my own desires; and now look at me, recording my thoughts and feelings down like a love-stricken school girl; What have I come to?

I have a problem, and it's you.
That's the first step to recovery, right?

Admitting to one's own ego.

As these conversion of thoughts come together more frequent, I might find myself becoming more repetitive. But it was my own nature that allowed me to be burned.

Etched in my soul was something I thought could be forever. See, even things like that are so over dramatically poetic, I don't even mean for it to be interpreted that way.

But somehow you awaken a shift in my pen. An interruption in thought brought forth just from being in proximity to your energy.

Sadly, I was poetry, but he couldn't read.

   "Wassup Christian" He finally spoke, his closest circle of friends all turning towards me, snickering and smiling as I walked past. Half-heartedly, I nod back and roll my eyes. Nothing about that seemed genuine. Almost as if he were mocking me. 

    I kept it moving, eyes forward trying to block him from my view. Out of sight, out of mind as they always say.

I made it to my locker, only a few strides down where Joel and his friends had posted themselves up.  Shae seemed to be heading in my direction, not too far from me at the end of the hall.

   I was going to look away until I saw Joel grab her attention, yanking her focus from me to a conversation with he and his dumb friends. I took one more glance before deciding to shake the negative thoughts from my mental.

By the time I put the rest of my things away, there she was already in talking distance.

"Friend!" She yelled. Of course she chooses to raise her voice when she's practically in my face.

     "'Wassup" She approached with wide, open arms allowing me to hug her.

Her grasp was released as she stepped back, giving me a look that only she could. She knew something.

"Soooo..." a grin stretched her cheeks. I knew where this was going immediately.

"Nope," I closed my locker quickly and began walking, "Whatever he said Shae the answer is either no, I don't know, or I don't care."

"Ugh," she sucked her teeth, matching my pace by my side, "you don't even know what I'm about to say"

"Something about Joel." My eyes rolled.

"Okay!" She laughed, "It wasn't bad though I swear."

"What is it?" I gave in. Fighting her to leave the situation alone would only worsen my mood. 

        "He just wanted to know if I was going to the homecoming game on Friday."

"Okay... so are you ?"