ALEXYTHYMIA...

I give up..

Im tired now.....im worn out....i feel weak and lifeless....i guess this is it...i cant hold on any longer...im giving up.
Its gonna hurt a ton...but a few painful nights are much better than the sleepless ones now i think.
I never thought id give up though....i never wanted to....i thought i could hold on  for as long as forever...but i guess it isnt that easy ...
Someone told me that hurting urself is no less than a sin...it didnt strike me at first...but now i realise how heartless i was to myself...how careless, harsh and merciless i was to my old self...
All this while i hurt myself for something that i didnt realise was snatching away every bit of the true me.  It tore me apart and ripped me into shreds and it took me long enough to feel the piercing pain. I was wrong...i still am.
I give up now...ive used up all that i had in me and now i think its high time i let go...
I tried ...i tried till the very end...but i guess i was the only one  trying...
I tried to save something that was already lost and maybe was never even ....mine.
Deep down i still wish things wouldnt end up like this...maybe id still have a reason to hold on..but as of now...all i have is every reason to let go of all this pain and hurt.
Im letting go..im giving up now ...i wish everything turns out well at the end. I  know  for sure  that ill be left with loadz of memories...beautiful and bitter...and ill make sure to cherish them at times.
Its time now....i give up.