Call Me "Daddy"

Chapter Nineteen

A/n thanks sooo much for all of the support through this story 2.3k reads is beyond amazing!!! :)

August, 2009

I couldn't bring myself to come back to this house until last week, and I've spent every moment since reading and rereading this journal Trevor found under Daddy's bed.

Hi. I'm Eileen. I'm 32 and I have three kids. But I bet you already knew that.

These past two months have been the worst in my whole entire life. I lost my Daddy, my angel, my life. Sometimes now, I wish he had never adopted us so we would have never loved him so much. But where would we be without him?

I believe that everybody has a miracle in their life. Whether it's witnessing a panda bear dance or actually making it in New York. Just something extraordinary that not everybody has been experienced. My miracle was being adopted by Michael Jackson.

I love him so much. Regardless of what anybody said about him, he had a heart of gold. I loved him not only as the "King of Pop" but as "Daddy". He was the first person in this world to love me unconditionally, and for that, I am forever grateful.

Without him, I would have never met Trevor or had Auriella, Aislyn, and Carter. Without him, I wouldn't have the career I have. Without him, I don't know what might've happened without him.

I was such an odd child, and I can't believe I didn't open up to him when I first met him. I can't believe that he actually wanted to adopt me. But he did.

Reading his journal, first I thought "Why did he write quotations?" and then "How did he manage to keep this from 1988-2009?" But then I realized what this book must be. I'm sure he wanted us to find it, he knew somebody would he wanted to document some of our good times so we would never forget, although we never will.

I guess it's selfish that I've kept this to myself. Selfish that I haven't told anybody but Trevor what's in here. But I just can't let go of this. The public is never going to know about this.

Daddy was beautiful, funny, sweet, caring, and just amazing. He was not only the greatest entertainer to ever live, but he was also the best father ever.

On behalf of Stevie, Prince, Paris, Blanket, and all of the grandchildren, I want to say that  we love him and miss him so much.

The only time I've left the house in the past two months, other than for the funeral and memorial, was to get a tattoo. He wouldn't have wanted me to, but I did anyway. "I'll never let you part, for you're always in my heart."

Rereading this journal, I see how epic our lives were. How amazing our story is. It's just too bad that nobody else will ever know it.

He always hoped that the public would leave his children alone, and that's why he tried to protect us while we were young until we were old enough to fend for ourselves, but everybody saw the kids at the memorial.

The things being said about Stevie and me especially are so horrible. They say that we aren't his daughters so we shouldn't count as "family". I say that it's bull shit, the media knows nothing about our family.

I fear for Paris the most. She's so vulnerable and slightly gullible. Daddy left Grandma as Prince, Paris, and Blanket's legal guardian. I wish he had left them with me, I don't think that now is a good time for us to be split apart, and I haven't seen them since the memorial because apparently, I'm not allowed to.

Grandma wants to give them "time to recover their loss". Little does she know, I'M MOURNING TOO! I miss him just as much as they do, and splitting us apart is only going to make this harder for all of all. Almost a month, that's the longest I've every gone without seeing them and I miss them so much.

Life has just been so hard these last few months, I even once considered dying myself. But I have children, a husband, and siblings that I have to live for. This whole thing has also been really hard for Alex. He hasn't spoken a word since the day after Daddy died. He was so close to him.

So many people want interviews and I don't think they understand that no girl wants to discuss her father's death on live television. We're not super humans lacking emotion, we're actually normal people, a normal family with a not so normal life. Being hounded by the media doesn't help any of us.

I yearn for the days that weren't stressful, back in 1988- 2002. If we could just go back to then, I would never let my daddy go. If I had known what was to happen in 2005, I would have never let dad have that devil child over. If I had known.

But I didn't know.

Nobody knew what that evil family had been plotting. And I hate them. Raised as a Jackson, we don't really hate people. But I hate them.

So yes. This is my bundle or feelings. Well, some of them. I have left so much unsaid. Daddy, if you're reading, here's what I want you to know:

You were not only the best father anyone could have, but you were also the best friend. Thank you so much for keeping me and loving me and just always being there for me. You were and always will be perfect to me.

You were also an amazing entertainer. Best singer, best dancer, great producer, and not a bad actor either. You were basically the whole package in a beautiful man.

You were also a humanitarian. People only pay attention to the bad or strange things about a person, they don't like to see the good. I remember when Stevie and I were really little and we would go to hospitals and orphanages to see children and make their day, even when the cameras weren't around.

You were the most humble, non jaded, sweethearted person I ever have and will meet.

I love you so much Daddy, and I miss you.

~ Eileen.

a/n this isn't over yet!!!! Stay tuned :) love you all!