im the type of girl, who has to have a rock, to be stable. for instance, my friends are my rock, my mom is my rock. I've got to have them to be stable. when im pissed I've got to have them. atleast one of them. and being pissed without a rock is hard.
you know that feeling when people piss you off so much that you zone out. well welcome to myself. ive been kind of happy lately, i forgot what it was like it get so pissed off. not like mad over joey and madison. because lemme tell ya, joey put her in flipping place yesterday. but I forgot how it was to get so pissed you black out. "hey so summer is really soon" mal said. oh how much have I missed her. she was gone for the weekend in Salt Lake City. "yeah I know, we need to so go on a trip, like to Florida or something" I mean like seriously, we never have fun, except when we party. I don't really do party's unless it's close friends and I know the person who throughs the party.
"we should go to kentucky or something" elena pops her head in. "kentucky? trust me you do not wanna go there, all my family, except my mom, dad, I live here. and you about have to get a hotel just too swim, it's not that fun." leah says. Seriously where are they coming from? "kentucky ain't that bad, there's that place in Louisville it's supposedly the most haunted place ever. It has five floors and whoever can make it through gets 1,000 up too 5,000 dollars" charles says. Fr how many is gonna pop up. "it isn't that bad, famous people has went there for the horse races before" mark says. what the heck. "well whoever can go is welcome too, but summer isn't here yet, we have about 2 months left, which sucks ass" i say. "sweets loosen up some ur stressing out" joey says smirking. "hey cocksure message me when you have seen me asking for your opinion" I smile sweetly at him.
malu grabs my arm "are you on ur juan pawn le" she whispers. "is it that obvious" i say rolling my eyes. "uhm, yeah kinda because no offense ur kinda being a bitch" mal says. she so upfront. i love her. "oh gotcha imma be a nice bitch now" she starts laughing. "this is why I love you" awh how sweet.
i walk away from them and of course joey the hoey catches up too me. "come to my car after school. i wanna take you somewhere" joey looks at me seriously. "uhm I got stuff to do." I walk faster. but of course he does too. "it'll only take 30 minutes of ur time." He doesn't give up. "alright. but 30 minutes is like 5 hours. so it better be something special" i walk away from him.
we went from exchanging looks, to "studying", to me picking him up from party's, to us being friends, to me going with him to party's, to him taking me places. and i used to think he'd leave me alone. what is this.
atleast things are looking up for me. im not the little girl who used to have her daddy by her side at all times anymore. nor am I the girl, who used to cry herself to sleep thinking I killed my father, im not her anymore, I'm Leilani Blue Gilliam, and im strong. confident. non blaming-loving-caring human. but I still miss my bestfriend though. it still gives me shivers.
flashback
"dad will you please please take elena, malu, leah, and i too Disney tomorrow, I won't ask for nothing else for the next 3 months." im begging him at this point. "yes baby I will. just go to sleep, dads gonna make the arrangements, and wait for mom to get home" he says smiling at me. "promise?" I say holding my two fingers together. "i promise princess" as he held his two fingers together and crossed. it was our thing. he was always so sweet. he never said a bad thing ever. i walked into my room and fell asleep after telling the 3 girls on iMessage about how he said yes when I got woke up by yelling. "GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING MONEY YOU COWARD" the robber says. "please no my baby girl wants to go to Disney tomorrow and and this is all the money I have for her I promised her" he's crying. all he wants is me to go to Disney. I walk out into the room. He turn around and says "I love you" *BOOM *BOOM *BOOM then my daddy is laying on the floor. Blood was everywhere. His blood. and his 15 year old just wanted him back and forgot about Disney. If she wouldn't of made him promise. this would've never happened. "DADDY DADDY wake up please please DONT LEAVE ME PLEASE GOD HELP HIM HEAL HIM" no one answered. my prayers wasn't answered. that's the night the greatest man passed away. My dad. My rock. My life.//
That was the worst night ever. Only if he wouldn't of promised me, i would have him to walk me down the ile at my wedding, tell me he's proud of me of my hard work at graduation, be protective over my first boyfriend I introduce him too, or I wouldn't be broken inside because I saw my rock, my life, get shot with three bullets, and pass away.
