Lurk (NSFW) | Kylo Ren x Reader

V

How did I get here? Lying beside you, completely bare on the carpet, feeling the heat of the fireplace radiate onto his body, Kylo took in a deep breath. You were fast asleep against him, completely exhausted from all the action Kylo had given you.

Rubbing his face as you were pressed against his chest, Kylo shut his eyes for a moment. He was being torn apart. His heart was thinking one thing while his dick was thinking the other.

He couldn't deny it anymore—although he kept doing it—there was something there for you. He felt it in his heart. It was loud and it was obnoxious. It was in his gut and in his veins. Kylo felt something strong for you that he had never dared to feel for anyone. Let alone, he never received it.

What the hell was love anyway? His father—adopted father—never gave him any.

Adopted father? No one knew, everyone believed it was just because they seemed so close, but Snoke was Kylo's guardian ever since he was a little boy. Too bad no one knew the real truth. Except, of course, Kylo...

He couldn't help but delve into his past, the worst thing he could possibly do to himself. The pain and suffering. The long nights of telling himself it'll be over with soon enough only to turn into you deserved it. It was something Kylo kept locked away for ages, something he didn't dare wake up within himself.

A big reason why he was so unstable with the women he slept with.

It was just that: women he slept with. Nothing more.

But then, you came along...

Actually, he came along and found you. You had caught his attention. Out of everyone in that 50 floor building... you were it. You were his next target.

But, were you really a target? He saw you as prey, but now he was seeing you as something more precious. And he was hating how he was letting that overcome him.

He was conflicted. An internal battle. To kick you out or to keep you in? But he so badly craved your attention and affection...

In the morning he'd decide. For now? He'd take you to his bedroom and let you rest. He had done enough damage as it is.

Gently removing you from him as he sat on his knees, Kylo lifted you in his arms and brought you to his room, pulling the sheets back enough and resting you on the comfortable mattress. Even in your sleep, you looked like an angel, and it was so tempting just to hold you there against him, to know that... he wasn't alone.

Gulping, Kylo leaned in and kissed your cheekbone, whispering, "I'm sorry" before rounding the bed and taking his side, back facing you as he felt shameless tears prick his eyes.

He couldn't let himself fall into that hole, he couldn't allow himself to do it. He's prevented it plenty of times, and usually, he'd only last one single night with a woman. Why was it so damn hard with you? And why wasn't he trying harder to fight against it?

It was going to be a long night for him.

Waking up that next morning, more exhausted than you had ever been, you took in deep breaths. You hadn't realized you were placed on a bed until you felt the smooth material of bedsheets cocoon you. Fluttering yours open and covering your face from the sunlight seeping in, you let out a groan as you stretched. Your thighs were aching the most.

Seeing a digital clock right beside you on the nightstand, your eyes widened. It was already 8:45. You would definitely be late for work. Nearly panicking, you sat up, only to realize Kylo was fast asleep to the right of you.

Eyeing him for a moment, the way his shoulder shifted with every breath he took, you tilted your head for a moment. You wanted to reach over and run your fingers along his bare back. To gently press kisses against his shoulder. To whisper sweet words in his ear as a good morning. But, you couldn't. Why would you? He wasn't really yours, right?