Chapter 30. Emotionless

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"Same for you, Eleanor." Mr. Newman clears his throat hoarsely.

I move over to Chase and before I can say the same thing I said to his parents, he pulls me into a hug. My arms lay limp by my sides until I blink and lightly hug him back as I begin to feel wet drops hit my shoulder where Chase is resting his head on while embracing me tightly, and it's then that I realize he is crying.

"I-I'm sorry, Chase.." I whisper.

"I know that you're in shock from this all and you can't even cry or let out any sort of emotion because he was your best friend, but I need you right now, Elle. He was my brother. Please come back to us all." Chase whispers and I swallow the lump in my throat and pull away from our hug.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Chase." I say whole-heartily just as I did for his parents.

He runs a hand through his hair and nods feebly, having tears glaze over her orbs. I turn around and walk away from the depressed family and head towards Kenzie's green Slug Bug, because Lilly and her drove me here. I hug Cole, Jackson and Ryder goodbye and they all whisper a sad response, saying the same thing I said to the Newman's.

Before letting go of Cole, however, he whispers something in my ear. "I'll give you your space, but if you need anything or want to talk, or just want me there, call me or come visit, okay?"

I nod and he lets go of our embrace.

My dad and Andrea tell me they will meet me at home and I nod with no emotion while they walk off with my sister to their own car. I turn around to catch up with Kenzie and Lilly who are already at the car, until Dylan catches my wrist and turns me around.

"I'm really sorry Connor is gone."

I don't say anything and only stare at him blankly. He inhales a sharp breath and stuffs his hands in his black dress pants.

"I was right beside you when Chase was talking to you and I heard what he said. He's right, I get it, you're grieving in your own way. You were like this when Mom died, too and-"

"Like what?" I growl.

"On edge, quiet, emotionless."

"I have to go, Dylan... I'll see you later today." I murmur.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

"I have to do something on my own before I can go home." I respond and wave goodbye, leaving my brother alone.

I walk over to Kenzie and Lilly and hop into the car with them and buckle myself into the back while hearing Lilly sob in the corner and Kenzie angrily wipe away her silent tears as we drive down the highway.

Twenty-three minutes pass until we finally arrive at my own home. Lilly opens her car door and gets out of the passengers seat and pulls the seat up, therefore enabling me to get out of the vehicle. I climb out and pat my dress down absentmindedly while shrugging my purse over my arm.

"Thanks for driving me home, guys." I murmur gratefully and Kenzie nods.

"Hey, are you alright? He was closer to you out of everyone." Lilly asks.

"I'm fine." I lie with a blank expression.

Kenzie nods and my two best friends wave me goodbye and I wait until their car turns a corner at the end of my street and they aren't visible anymore. I turn around grab an empty water bottle from the recycle bin and grab some blank paper from the open garage and get into my own car silently before my family, or Andrea, realizes I am home yet. I slowly pull out of my driveway, trying to be as quiet as possible and then floor it down the street and make my way to the East Water Point Bridge.

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