Fanfic Sins

FS: C5: The ER

Before you say I'm being cliché addressing this topic, I'm going to point out that I have my own problems with this occurrence.

Yes, everyone goes to the ER at least a couple of times in their lifetime. But, multiple times a month for boyfriend bullshit, no. Just no. I'm in my third year of High School and still have not been to the ER. Ever. Why is your character having a weekly visit because her face was smashed in by her bf's ex or some deranged fan.

But this isn't even my biggest problem. I've enjoyed the bottle of feels that has accompanied these frequent ER visits. The "is she going to die" moments. But no, no, no, it wasn't enough that your character is in critical condition. You had to put her in a COMA.

Are you even medically educated on the circumstances surrounding why someone goes into a coma? Why they do not just wake up when your salty tears of week-old infatuation fall into her left nostril. Why they do not hear your crusty confession on how much you've thought about them in the last few hours. I'm guessing you don't. So please, I beg of you, stop putting your characters in a coma.

Since we're on the topic of ER's, I'd like to point out that it's not even just the character in a coma that gets to me. It's their visitors.

Especially Harry (yes, I know every character's boyfriend isn't Harry). Enough with the overused chapter of Harry crying on the bed for three days and not going home. WHO DOES THAT? I love my mother beyond reasoning, but I am not staying in a hospital for 72 hours while she's in a coma. In fact, visiting hours end at 8:00 pm.

Then, when she mysteriously wakes up from his tear that slid into her throat and nearly choked her to death, she kissed him. Nothing wrong with a long awaited kiss, right? Wrong! He's been sitting in your room for three days extremely stressed out because of your potential death. In short, he stinks and hasn't brushed his teeth. Sadly, panicking leads to sweating. Sweating leads to perspiration. As much as we'd like for Harry, Louis, Beau, Justin, and anyone else you ship to be immortal. Sadly, they're not. They can stink, too.

Lastly, there is a medical bill that comes with an ER visit. Yes, I have medical coverage too. Very good coverage, actually. You still have to co-pay. So where is all of her funding towards her daily ER visit coming from? Hmm.

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I'm not nearly as proud as I thought I'd be of this chapter. It's long, sure. But my thoughts were everywhere. Whatever.

Fifth chapter down, comment if you like.