The Fear Within Me

18

The day creeps to night, and I huddle in the back of my cell, cold and shivering. I can barely call my new home a cell; it's not even big enough for me to sit in without craning my neck. It's much closer to a cage than a cell. The people around me are men, women and children of all ages. Some of their faces re swollen or purple from recent beatings, and I see some children with stitching in different places. Down our row of cells is a laboratory of some type, and I've gathered that they're experimenting, though I can't decide why yet. Child after child is escorted from their cage and down to the lab, and half as many return with stitches. These monsters are experimenting on children. Now everyone is accounted for.

I try so hard to drown out the sobbing that echoes through the drafty building, but it's no use. Even after the procedures have stopped and the number of Halos dwindles to three, I can still hear the weeping bouncing through my head. By morning, I haven't slept a wink.

The creatures file in a take all the women out of their cells. We huddle together as we are escorted outside. A long row of blocks are set up, and attached to the blocks are thick leather straps. We are each led to a block where our hands are thrust under the strap, which is then tightened. I look down the row at the frightened women and count 26.

A group of Halos with various objects file down the line of shivering women and girls. They stop at the other end for a moment, and then start wailing on that unfortunate woman with pipes, butts of guns, and their fists. One of them has a long thin branch that leaves angry red welts. Panic begins to take over, and try as I might to swallow it down, it threatens to consume me whole.

The women all around me have begun shrieking in protest, but are silenced as their turn comes. Bodies slump against the blocks, bloody and barely breathing. Some, I know, are dead. Soon it will be my turn, and I'm trying to decide if dying would be easier. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the images if not the sound. I hear as the Halos draw closer and closer, and soon the woman next to me is being beaten. The gravel crunches and an eternity seems to pass before feet, fists, pipes, switches, and guns connect with my body in various places. I appreciate that all these are all at once, because my mind doesn't have the opportunity to focus on any one pain; instead, they all blend together. I try to keep my face tucked behind the block, but one of them grabs my hair and yanks my head back.

A pipe smashes against my jaw, causing me to bite my tongue hard. When blood rises and mingles with my saliva, I spit it on the feet of one of the Halos that stands over me. It connects a punch with my nose and left eye, and I can feel both immediately start to swell. In an instant, my nose is pouring blood; so much so that I begin to choke. I have to spit often, and always aim for the feet and legs of the Halos around me.

A movement in the trees above catches my eye. A blonde-haired girl peeks through the branches, tears streaming down her face.

Marie. She came back. Why did she come back? Dammit! I look off to my left before shouting to her, to distract the Halo's attention from above.

"Go! Get out of here!" I scream, blood flying. I cough as blood and spit find their way down the wrong tube. Some of the Halos begin to snake off in the direction I shouted, but Marie won't move. She simply stares down at me in horror. I start to cry; not for myself, but because I know she can't move. Just the same as I couldn't leave my brother if I had the choice.

"I'm okay," I shout to the ground, "I promise!" I glance up to see her shake her head vigorously, then look away again. "Please!"

I look down the row. Halos meander between us, sniffing each victim. The ones who went off the search the woods are returning to their comrades. I risk another peek up; Marie is still there. In my peripheral vision, I see a Halo watching me. Though I avert my eyes quickly, dread washes over me as I realize I did so a second too late. It follows my line of sight into the tree, instantly finding Marie in her orange WonderPets t-shirt.

"Go Marie!" I'm frantic now. She will be caught if she doesn't start moving. I watch hopelessly as the Halo lopes to the base of the tree and begins to scale it. Marie sees too, and beings to climb higher. Good idea; the branches higher up will be too thin to hold the weight of the Halo. The creature climbs much faster than Marie, though, and is on her tail in a matter of seconds.

My breath hitches as I watch Marie miss a branch and tumble from the tree, doing her best to grab hold of branches on the way down to stop herself. She lands on the ground hard on her back, sucking air as she'd knocked the wind out of herself. I struggle against the leather straps. They're tight, but I can feel myself slipping on account of the blood.

Finally I am free, and rush to Marie's side. She's gasping for air, but doesn't move. The Halo lands nearly soundlessly next to us, and connects a swift kick with my face. I fly a few feet, and crawl on my hands and knees back to where she lay. He swings his foot again, but this time I block it with my forearms and land a punch on the outside of its knee. The joint cracks dreadfully and the Halo buckles to a heap. I drag Marie away from him, but he follows with grunts of pain. Marie is still gasping, tears welling in her eyes. I can tell her back is broken, because she seems to have no control over her limp legs. The Halo that is following us is darkened by a shadow, and a pipe pierces his head.

Thank you, Lord.

But it's no savior that slays the creature; it's a fellow Halo, somehow even bigger than all the rest. It's apparent he's their leader, because the handful of others who mill about fall silent. I put my body in front of Marie's protectively, but he grabs me by the collar and hoists me up, causing my shirt to rip. He roars and head-butts me, and my world spins. When he drops me, I crumple to the ground, unable to regain my equilibrium. When I can see again, I turn to face Marie. The Halo smiles wickedly and nudges her head with a foot, causing her head to loll to the side. She screams, an agonizing sound that causes me to choke on a sob. He yanks the pipe from the head of the Halo he'd just killed, and buries it in her sternum. She is gasping for air; her windpipe has been completely cut off. I drag myself over to where she lay, head still spinning. The Halo saunters off, amused, and I curse him under my breath.

I can't decide if it would be worse to leave the pipe where it lay, or pull it out. She can't get a breath in, so I decide to ease it out of her. Blood trickles down the sides of her mouth instantly, and tears fall from her eyes to match.

"Everything is going to be okay," I choke, doing my best to keep it together as I sit here and watch this little girl die. Her eyes are wide with panic, and when she coughs, my face and neck become wet, splattered with her blood. She feels for my hand and squeezes it with what little strength she has left.

"You shouldn't have come back," I say, tears escaping, "I was going to be alright." I immediately regret my words; no one wants to hear shoulda-coulda-woulda right before death. Blood vessels in her eyes burst as she struggles to inhale.

"You're strong," I tell her. I want to believe it. I want to pretend this is but a flesh wound and she'll be well in the morning. But if I believed that, I would be a fool. Marie is dying, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I put my forehead to hers, and pull it away to kiss her between the eyebrows. I don't want to sit and watch as the last bit of life drains from her, but I have no choice. I can't bring myself to betray her by doing otherwise. I cry without shame and splay my body across hers, disregarding the blood that soaks my shirt. I only have a moment to mourn before a few Halos drag my back to my cell.